The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Attn: Ellen (2/8/12)

Front Back (apologies for my handwriting!) The text of the postcard is Dear Ellen, You ever have one of those weeks where you’re happily dancing on a could and then babies riding giant swords attack you? Emotionally, I mean. Not literally. … Am I the only one that feels that way? Sincerely weird, DumbFunnery.com

Lies I Readily Tell My Dentist

Dentist: Oh it’s great to see you, how are you!? Me: (Un-intelligable noise meaning great to see you too!) — Dentist: Boy this weather lately sure is great, huh! Me: (Frightened noise because someone this peppy holding a sharp metal instrument in my mouth is scary.) — Dentist: You don’t mind if I talk about [...]

If I Married a Celebrity – Baby Names

Tracy Morgan and I Twist Stanley-Morgan Shout Stanley-Morgan (So we could yell Twist and Shout at the mall, and not just randomly.) Alicia Silverstone and I Loch Ness Silverstone Roped Off Silverstone For the Love of God NOTICE ME Silverstone (What’s she been up to lately? Seriously.) Yogi Bear and I Yogi Bear, Jr. (He’s [...]

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