The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dog’

Keeping Up With the Latest in Entertainment

On Netflix instant play they now have The X-Files. What a show, am I right!?

I didn’t watch The X-Files when it first came on TV because, frankly, it scared me. And you know what? It still kind of scares me.

I remember living in Kansas, hanging out in the basement playing the game Myst on the family computer and my brother and sister watching The X-Files. The soundtrack for that show made the game creepy to me. I can’t think of the game Myst without still getting an unsettling, creeped out vibe (Myst is a game where you solve puzzles, there are no other characters – so it’s really not the best candidate for being creepy).

While I was in college my dog and I went to my family’s cabin for a week, and it was glorious. Just Chaser and I hanging out, reading, taking naps, going on walks, eating junk food (me, not her). I look up at that time with the happiest of memories. Except for one day. One unfortunate day.

An X-Files marathon was on TV. I sat down and started watching and oh, they were good episodes. (Weren’t they all!) Chaser was dreaming of the squirrels that were outside eating from the bird feeder (my grandma hated those squirrels) and I was watching episode after episode. Then something unfortunate happened: the sun set. Suddenly those four or five episodes were a terrible idea. Because you know what’s creepy? Episodes that start in the woods somewhere with an alien or some mutated human thing and you’re watching the show BY YOURSELF (Chaser was the opposite of a guard dog) in the woods!

I decided to start watching something else, but the damage was done. I grabbed a golf club and everywhere I went, the golf club came too. Anytime Chaser heard something and her little ears perked up, the golf club was at the ready. It was a long night.

Anywho … I’m now watching this show from the beginning and I really like it. Although it still kind of scares me. One unfortunate, unexpected side-effect is I want to talk about it with people. The problem is most people won’t want to talk about this crazy episode from 1992. This reminds me of a Jim Gaffigan bit.

See you later, blogosphere, I’m going back to The X-Files!

Stupid Halloween Costume Ideas for … A Couple, With a Dog

Recently I saw my friend Barry at an awesome Houston event, Grown-Up Story Time. (People submit stories, other people read them, you drink a beer, you chill, you laugh, la la lovely.)

After the event, Barry informed me of her and her boyfriend’s Halloween costumes. She’s going to a party with the theme, “A Night in Tijuana” and their costumes will be that the boyfriend is a cowboy, and she is a giant pistol. They’re odd, which is why I like them.

I suggested, because I have a dumb sense of humor, that her dog be a giant shell from a gun. Her boyfriend could pick her up, pretend to shoot, and she would chuck the dog to the floor like a discarded shell. Brilliant addition to that plan, right?

I don’t have a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or dog, but I do have free time. So I took the liberty of informing Barry of other stupid Halloween costume ideas for the three of them. I’ll start with boring, and go quickly to weird …

The dog: A hot dog (clever)
Barry: Ketchup
The boyfriend: Mustard

The dog: A giant joint
Barry: Cheech
The boyfriend: Chong

The dog: Spiderman’s web spray
Barry: Mary Jane
The boyfriend: Spiderman (Just because it’s funny to me to picture him randomly tossing the dog as though he’s web slinging)

The dog: An orca
Barry: Free spirit activist
The boyfriend: A native American hunter

And to still have one with “classic” slutty Halloween costumes …

The Dog: Naughty bodily expulsion (Grosssss)
Barry: Naughty nurse
The Boyfriend: Naughty Doctor

Well, I Uh … I …

This park where my friends and I hiked was really concerned about people picking up after their dogs. I’m kicking myself for not having taken a picture of the second sign all by itself.

 

 

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