The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘mom’

Mistaken Identity

Recently my mom sent me an email via a website called Tidbits. It was a very nice thought. The email has a number of good restaurants to try in the Houston area. I will definitely be trying a few of them.

My mom is weird and sweet in this way (this is what I call a “countdown comment” – because after I publish this post it’s a countdown til my mom says, “so Brad, I read your blog today …”). This is sweet because my mom is looking out for me, giving me tips on fun things to do. This is weird because she lives in Arizona and keeps tabs on Houston because I live here.

Unfortunately, Tidbits is catered to women. Or, as the website called me in the email, it is catered to the “gal about town.”

What’s the natural follow-up? Automatic subscription to a Tidbits, with the next email titled, “Put your best stiletto forward.”

I’m not just any gal about town, I’m a leggy gal about town.

But wait, there’s more. From some random run I did in the past I get emails from Runner’s World magazine. Kind of annoying, kind of nice. One day I got an unexpected email from them:

“Run like a girl!”

In the email it talked about concerns women have when running that men don’t have (sports bras, Aunt Flo, and menopause). Not only does the magazine think I’m a woman, it thinks I’m an older woman.

Frankly, this old gal can’t wait for the email telling me that the Deluxe Designing Women DVD Box Set is on sale.

Mother’s Day Test

There’s nothing closer to real, unconditional love than a parent’s love. And who better to embody that than a mother? That’s why this year, for Mother’s Day, I created this test.

What better way for a mom to demonstrate the power of her love than by pretending to forget what day of the year Mother’s Day is on! Then your mom can really show the amount of unconditional love she has. It’s an opportunity you’re giving her …

Say!, I guess this is a sort of gift after all!

That’s why this coming Sunday, Mother’s Day (May 20th! Don’t forget!) I plan to “forget” what day is Mother’s Day!

It’ll be a doozy!

What a Fun Trip!

And then I said “wow what a trip!,” and mom said, “that was a fun trip,” and I thought, “holy cow mom’s on acid!” and she said, “no I’m not on acid I meant the family vacation,” and then she turned into a dragon and ate dad and I thought, “maybe this isn’t a fun trip.”

Uhhh … What?

A guy I work with uses the word “dragon” as a synonym for a problem of any kind.

“Get to work on this and you’ll find some dragons!”
“I bet there’s a whole box of dragons once you get into that.”
etc.

I had a meeting with him and he talked about dragons, and I tried to focus while thinking about my upcoming trip – and voila – that piece of weird up top came out.

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