Today’s quotes are from The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M. Cain. It’s one of the best known crime novels, and the reason I picked it up was because it inspired a classic film noir. Who can resist that?
With that in mind, I picked quotes from the book that I thought go well with the film noir type.
‘As the fellow said when he fell out of the airplane, it was a swell ride but we lit kind of hard.’
He might be asleep, but even asleep he looked like he knew more than most guys awake, and a kind of a lump came up in my throat. It was like the sweet chariot had swung low and was going to pick me up.
‘Oh yes. I fell for you because you were smart. And now I find out you’re smart. Ain’t that funny? You fall for a guy because he’s smart and then you find out he’s smart.’
‘So God kissed us on the brow, did he? Then the devil went to bed with us, and believe you me, kid, he sleeps pretty good.’
‘Because maybe it’s a stall, what he says about her, and maybe it’s not, see? But if I’m here, neither one of them can skip, you get it?’
***
Too much fun! How can you read that last quote and not do it in your best noir voice? Here, a movie clip for you.
and a mouth set in a sort of perpetual sneer. I don’t mean a nasty sneer, but an amused, mysterious sneer, as if all the people around her were pretty silly and she could tell some good jokes on them if she wanted to.
I liked looking on at other people in crucial situations … I certainly learned a lot of things I never would have learned otherwise this way, and even when they surprised me or made me sick I never let on, but pretended that’s the way I knew things were all the time.
I’d discovered, after a lot of extreme apprehension about what spoons to use, that if you do something incorrect at table with a certain arrogance, as if you knew perfectly well you were doing it properly, you can get away with it and nobody will think you are bad-mannered or poorly brought up. They will think you are original and very witty.
I spent a lot of time having imaginary conversations with Buddy Willard. He was a coupe of years older than I was and very scientific, so he could always prove things. When I was with him I had to work to keep my head above water.
These conversations I had in my mind usually repeated the beginnings of conversations I’d really had with Buddy, only they finished with me answering him back quite sharply, instead of just sitting around and saying, ‘I guess so.’
For the first time in my life, sitting there in the sound-proof heart of the UN building between Constantin who could play tennis as well as simultaneously interpret and the Russian girl who knew so many idioms, I felt dreadfully inadequate. The trouble was, I had been inadequate all along, I simply hadn’t thought about it.
For book club we read 50 Shades of Grey, by E. L. James. If you don’t know anything about it, allow me to allow Ellen DeGeneres (you know, the lady I wrote postcards to once a week in the hopes she’ll take pity and invite me on her show and help me get published?) … anywho, here’s Ellen reading from 50 Shades.
The book is bad. I don’t know how else to tell you that. I’m sure some people will like it, but even people who like it (on boards I looked at) seemed to know that it was still bad writing. If you’re into reading about kinky sex or controlling dudes, I recommend this book. Otherwise, suffice yourself with this series of quotes from the book.
My personal favorites are the ones where she talks to her subconscious, and also her “inner goddess.” Good GOD this book is bad.
50 Shades of Grey
His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel … or something.
“Um.” I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. Stop talking. Stop talking. NOW.
Paul is cute in a wholesome all-American boy-next-door kind of way, but he’s no literary hero, not by any stretch of the imagination. Is Grey? my subconscious asks me, her eyebrow figuratively raised. I slap her down.
My subconscious is figuratively tutting and glaring at me over her half-moon specs.
Tonight’s the night! After all this time, am I ready for this? My inner goddess glares at me, tapping her small foot impatiently. She’s been ready for this for years, and she’s ready for anything with Christian Grey
He gives me a wicked grin, the effects of which travel all the way down there.
It’s a beautiful May morning, Seattle at my feet. Wow, what a view. Beside me, Christian is fast asleep. Wow, what a view.
My inner goddess sits in the lotus position looking serene except for the sly, self-congratulatory smile on her face.
[...] a very small part of me resents that he should find this a surprise. My inner goddess does, too. She makes a very vulgar and unattractive gesture at him with her fingers.
My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheerleading pom-poms shouting yes at me.
My subconscious runs, screaming, and hides behind the couch.
My subconscious peeks out from behind the couch, still registering shock on her harpy face.
I thought I was in charge? My inner goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream.
My inner goddess pouts at me, failing miserably to hide her disappointment.
Fin
What’s impressive is that I have even more so-amazingly-bad-they’re-good quotes from this book. But that’s all I can muster for now, my inner goddess has a gun.
How white of a neighborhood do I live in? The other names on the list at the haircut place: another brad, Collin, Zach, Todd, and a Henry. he said, with panache 18 hours ago
@DevaNitins Is it bad that when Canadians think I'm not American (if that is what happened) I take that as a compliment to my manners? he said, with panache 19 hours ago
@DevaNitins If only! That would mean vacation was not over ... I just went to DC now back to Houston for work. he said, with panache 19 hours ago
Back in Houston! And what better to greet me than the very southern man across from me on the airport shuttle with his zipper open. he said, with panache 19 hours ago
