Well friends, sometimes you come out a winner, sometimes you recommend a book with a masturbation scene to a random high school girl.
I was out and about tonight after work and I decided to swing by Borders. I enjoy checking out their books, so then I’ll have things to buy from Amazon or the Half-Price Book Store by me. Sorry Borders, your prices suck.
While walking around I noticed that a teenage couple had grabbed a Borders clerk for help. Then, four Borders clerks were there. They were talking, trying to figure out the problem. FOUR clerks! And none of them could solve this very simple problem. I had thought I had overheard it, and knew some books that counted, so I sauntered over (at that point I was not a pervert, but a smug nerd).
“What kind of book do you have to find?” I asked.
“Oh, a fiction book written by an American author in the last 30 years.”
“That’s the only requirement?”
(Seriously – four clerks didn’t know this. Are you kidding me?)
Boom! I’ve got it! A book I had just been looking at, because I’ve heard good things. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I have not read this book but I have heard good things. Also, it looks like a short read and this girl wanted that. I picked the book up and handed it over.
Soon after I left I learned a little factoid, from Wikipedia: “The story explores topics such as introversion, teenage sexuality, homosexuality, abuse, and the awkward times of adolescence. The book also touches strongly on drug use and Charlie’s experiences with this.”
Specifically I learned about the masturbation scene from a friend who had read the book. Greeaaaat.
If the girl bought the book, and headed home and told her parents about the swell gentleman who helped her pick out a book for school … only to start reading it and think it’s some sort of weird, bookish, creepo pick-up move … I apologize. Sorry, chica.
I know those aren’t crazy topics, and any teen now would of course have seen it all already, but still … I feel like a creep.
In my defense I also recommended Steve Martin’s The Pleasure of My Company because I am a huge fan of that book.
The bookish creep