The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

“Poems”

2013

The Lonely Adventurers (4/9/13)

An Ode to Old Guys at the Gym (4/2/13)

Non Traditional Valentine’s Day Poems (2/14/13)

Working on My Communication (2/8/13)


2012

To the Fans of the Mayans (12/21/12)

Ellen Christmas Poem (12/19/12)

The Ice Cream Plight (2/10/12)

An Ode to Bad Jokes (1/9/12)

An Ode to New Year’s Resolutions (1/2/12)


2011

Ode to Memes (11/14/11)

Let’s Hope it’s the Thought that Counts (10/24/11)

You Can’t Buy Happiness (8/15/2011)

How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style (7/29/2011)

100% Irrelevant, 110% Analysis (6/20/2011)

An Ode to the Non-Review (5/23/2011)

Reaction (5/16/2010)

Life (4/25/2011)

Expectoration’s on Expectations (3/21/2011)

Ode to My Pony-Tail Boss (2/7/2011)

People are Gross (1/24/2011)

Motto (1/10/2011)


2010

Oh You Old Sentimental So-and-So (12/20/2010)

Where’s My Doe-Eyed Look and Legs That Go for Days? (11/23/2010)

Shakespeare Was Onto Something … (11/8/2010)

Seymour (My Stomach’s Name) (/9/14/2010)

Super Elite First Tier Gold Status Contributor (8/30/2010)

The Worst Lawyer Ever (8/10/2010)

If a Shark Attacks, Hit it Here (8/4/2010)

Vending Machine Wisdom (or Vending Machine Whore) (7/25/2010)

An Ode to the Stain on My Shirt (7/15/2010)

Poem from 8th Grade (Night Before Christmas) (7/5/2010)

Ode to the Mall Food Court (6/20/2010)

Fancy New Haircut! (6/7/2010)

My Degree from Sewanee (4/26/2010)

I Called for Your Two Cents, but I Got Ten (4/21/2010)

The Last Bite (4/12/2010)

An Ode to Wal-Mart (4/5/2010)

Get FIT! (3/29/2010)

An Ode to the Guy Who Just Cut Me Off/Tried to Kill Me (3/7/2010)

Ehhhhhhhh … (2/28/2010)

How Bout them Apples (2/17/2010)

The Pedantic Poem (2/13/2010)

An Ode to My Afternoon-Food-Coma-Ideal-Life-Daydream of Traveling the World (2/8/2010)

Helloooo Beautiful! (2/4/2010)

I Couldn’t Help but Notice (1/10/2010)

My Supreme Intellect (1/4/2010)


2009

Please Don’t Contradict Me When I’m so Clearly Wrong (12/27/2009)

Shalom to Christmas (12/24/2009)

A Child’s Work (12/13/2009)

You’ve Got a Problem, But You Don’t Want a Solution (11/30/2009)

Til Debt Do Us Part (11/23/2009)

An Ode to All Things but Expensive Things (11/15/2009)

An Ode to Naps (11/9/2009)

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles are for Cries, Wails, and Ear-Splitting Squeals (10/27/2009)

I’m Sorry (10/12/2009)

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