The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Attn: Ellen’ Category

Attn: Ellen (7/11/18)

Front

Ellen357a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen356b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I like this picture because at first you see the feet and think, ‘oh weird’ then you see the arm and think ‘AHH!’

Sorta like a first date red flag reveal.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen (7/4/18)

Front

Ellen356a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen357b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Happy July 4th, and happy bday America. May we look back upon this time as our awkward, rebellious teenage years.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (6/27/18)

Front

Ellen355a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen355b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Some fictional universes can be wonderful. Places to escape to in your head. Books, movies, and cults – they really create some stunning places.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (6/20/18)

Front

Ellen354a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen354b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Can you imagine how painful and awkward and terrifying it would be if the following happened … An alien race came to visit planet Earth. But, wait, it’s Trump leading the greeting party. Guh.

But I’m not too worried, I’m pretty sure Angela Merkel would drop kick Trump before the meeting to knock him out.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (6/13/18)

Front

Ellen353a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen353b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

A surprising development for me: I have realized a very real possible post-retirement hobby for me would be photographing birds.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (6/6/18)

Front

Ellen352b

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen352a

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s pride month which presents people with the wonderful opportunity to look at others and think, ‘truly, who cares who you’re attracted to?’

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (5/30/18)

Front

Ellen351a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen351b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know how NBA players commit a foul, a ref blows the whistle, and the player looks around, arms thrown up in the air, as though they are shocked and disgusted?

Whenever my wife reminds me of something I forgot to do I’m going to react like that. Backup plan – I’ll sweat as much as one of those dudes and she’ll never be in the same room as me.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

P.S. Seriously, they each sweat approximately one Nile River / game.

Why am I doing this?

 

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