The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Attn: Ellen’ Category

Attn: Ellen (9/12/18)

Front

 

Ellen365a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen365b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

When do you think the first barber shop was? I bet it was during caveman times. And I bet it wasn’t successful at all. Why pay perfectly good animal hides when I could just gnaw off my hair when it gets too long? But that barber? Talk about an outside-the-box thinker.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen (9/5/18)

Front

 

Ellen364a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen364b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s good to know that even in nature there are obnoxious siblings.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

P.S. I bet he’s saying, “hey … your ear smells.” And the sibling is thinking, ‘do I really need to be a pack animal?’

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (8/29/18)

Front

Ellen363a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen363b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My son is now a big one year old! That’s exciting! And the dog, I think as a self-preservation technique, has started to go deaf. Good thinking, pooch!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Headed to listen to a train toy sing about the alphabet … for the 17th time this morning.

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (8/22/18)

Front

 

Ellen362a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen362b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Let’s say you are a rap artist. And you have all your music ideas and lyrics on one computer. Do you call it your laptop? And if yes, does that mean all your songs stink?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (8/15/18)

Front

Ellen361a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen361b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

What’s more terrifying? Waking up in a creepy, unsettlingly sterile room like on this postcard, or a seedy motel room? 3rd option, waking up naked in the Disney castle.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (8/8/18)

Front

Ellen360a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen360b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m calling it now – if Trump gets a second term he’s going to have NASA stamp his name on the moon in giant text.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (8/1/18)

Front

Ellen359a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen359b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I like my son being in my shadow. The sun is just so bright, you know? And sun burn is no joke!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

P.S. Walking with an umbrella or hat also works.

Why am I doing this?

 

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