The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

The delinquent dad here with another update – this time for a great big 22 month old. At this point I baffle strangers when they ask, ‘how old is he?’ and I say 22 months. I can almost see them doing math in their head. Following my wife’s lead I have adopted a simpler answer of, ‘none of your business.’ Just kidding. I say a bit shy of 2. And then I say, ‘now get off my lawn.’ This is especially effective for making people scatter when I’m at Target.

I am deep into 23 month land so I can hardly remember 22 months, so this may … for once … be a relatively short update. But we’ll see. I bet I can manage to be long-winded.

The kiddo is all about words. Man oh man he is a good little communicator and mimic. I made a note of every word I heard him say over the course of an afternoon, plus what I knew from memory … but I bet I missed some. Here is what my chatty little 21.5 month old was saying:

animals
dog
cat
elephant
mouse
donkey
horse
fish
whale
bunny
dinosaur
lion
cow
moose
animals
turtle
vehicles
boat
airplane
truck
jeep
car
helicopter
dump truck
food
banana
apple
cheese
yogurt
mac & cheese
treat
cookie
juice
water
milk
spoon
cup
gummies
pouch

clothes
socks
shoes
shirt
shorts
jeans
boots

body parts
foot
toe
knee
elbow
nose
mouth
ears
hair
face
belly
teeth
fingers

other
bicycle
mom
dad
house
lake
book
george
tv
remote
phone
nap
night night
school
dido
vacuum
weed whacker
lawn mower
flower
kayak
more
ball
outside
inside
street
close
trash can
wheel
hi
hat
that way
park
eyeglasses
door
tickle
bright
splash
bubbles
rock
fast
blanket
high five
please
thank you
pocket
bonk
better
all done
Velcro

verbs
up
help
move
walk
push
sit
come
race
eat
hop
walk
wash
swing
slide
turn
kick
kiss
hug
help
open
close
wash
From a thing I read online two year olds should be able to say 50 or more words by the time they turn two, and our kiddo’s chatty style is clearly a point of pride for ol mom and dad.

The kiddo continued to add more words and phrases to his repertoire with his mimic style. Sometimes when my wife or I are pushing him on the swing he begins to demand that WE swing too. ‘Swing?’ or ‘Dada swing?!’ over and over til you take a seat. When I do this I pump my legs in an exaggerated style and ask him to do the same saying, ‘up … and dooooown’ repeatedly. He doesn’t quite get the instruction, but he does repeat what I’m saying. So that’s nice?

An exciting observationt I heard the kiddo put together for the first time was noticing (or being lucky in timing) when we are almost home. Generally I am pretty chatty when driving with the kiddo, asking him things, talking about things, just whatever. One of the my typical observations is when we are almost home I say … surprise … ‘almost home!’ And now the kiddo has taken up the mantle and says the same! Hurray observational prowess!

Likewise when leaving for daycare he often says goodbye to just about everything. ‘Bye bunnies! … Bye house! … Bye neighbors … Bye car … Bye lake … Bye park … Bye truck.’ (And then that one is repeated a lot. We have a lot of trucks around us.)

A very sweet thing that showed up this month is kissing injuries. If the kiddo falls or has a minor injury, ie not tear-inducing, he will come over mildly upset and say ‘kiss?’ A kiss is promptly delivered. Mom or dad will then say, ‘is that better?’ and he would say ‘yeahhhhh.’ That evolved over the month to optimize the conversation. Instead of waiting for a question from mom or dad he would ask for a kiss, get a kiss, then state ‘better’ before running off.

In general a lot of things lead to either high fives or kisses. Threw out some trash? That’s a high five. Bumped into the couch? That’s a kiss. One day my wife, the kiddo and I were hanging out in the backyard when the kiddo found a dead bug. My wife said, ‘oh leave him alone he’s hurt’ and the kiddo said, ‘owwie?’ and she said ‘yes, he has an owwie’ so he promptly got down on his hands and knees and began to go in for a magical, restorative kiss. We quickly picked him up.

I had two heartbreaking things this month with the sweet little guy. The kiddo has a high chair that is sort of mounted on our kitchen table. He ran up to it excited for some food and tried to hang … this is especially worrisome because that hard floor under him is only too ready to greet him if he should fall. I told him no very sternly which earned me the saddest, sweetest little upset face I’d run across in a while. He looked up at me sad as could be, lips turned down but trying not to cry, and he went to his mama. I came around to the couch where they were sitting and he turned away from me, still trying not to cry (why kiddo, let it out man!). The trying not to cry made it even worse. But he was upset with me, and wouldn’t let me comfort him, which was a first. Poor little fella.

The other new heartbreaker, which is only getting stronger, is words mixed in with crying at bedtime. We had ourselves a recent stretch of bad sleep so he wouldn’t go down easy like he had for a long stretch. One night we put him down and instead of going to sleep he began to cry. And in between those cries he managed to say, ‘help me dada.’ Lord have mercy child, you’ll kill me one way or another with those heartstrings you own.

I know it might not sound like much, dear reader, but I’m a light weight.

Another language step that was a bit of a sad arrival was a change in his responses to questions like, ‘how was your day?’ and ‘how did you sleep?’ Previously either of those questions, or ones like them, got a very sincere nod yes. Suddenly the word ‘good’ showed up and now that’s the standard answer.

One thing I enjoy doing with the kiddo is what I refer to as a ‘tickle test.’ I’ll move him so he is flat on his back, and then I say let’s check the left armpit … then I tickle, the neck … then I tickle, etc. He especially loses it at the neck so I usually save that for last. Tickling at a certain age is a harrowing experience to undergo because you laugh so much you can’t breathe and you just sort of writhe around like a snake. So I thought, is this a form of delightful torture? But the thought was dispelled because the kiddo came up to me one afternoon and said, ‘tickle test?’ Buddy, you got it.

The kiddo can be a real stinker. A goose. A moose goose, as I call him. He will say no to many things with absolute delight. When he’s tired he really likes to test the waters and do things he knows he shouldn’t. I’ll be holding him and he’ll hit me very gently and then look at me, really focusing and watching, to see what I’ll do. Generally the first hit leads me to saying, ‘hey, be nice.’  This has led to a hobby which would make a stranger look askance where he will hit himself (not hard) and then shake his head no and say, ‘nice.’  Sometimes he’ll even do that and then pet himself as he says nice. It’s great.

Now we’ll end on a classic little boy story. The kiddo was getting some good naked time in one night, running around happy as could be. He ran into his bedroom and began peeing on the floor. He stared in fascination (as I scrambled for a towel). The urine ran out which prompted a big laugh and a pause, then, ‘again!?’

Advertisements

June 2019 Haiku

June 1 (Saturday)
Rainy days call for
Waterproof boots, a rain coat
And running around

June 2 (Sunday)
Playing at a park
That mom’s here with like 10 kids
You poor, poor woman

June 3 (Monday)
Intern’s hairdo says
‘I am very good at code.’
(Pssst. That means bad hair.)

June 4 (Tuesday)
Every chance I get
I’m scouting toys for my son
………. That I also want

June 5 (Wednesday)
Teammate shows idea
All: INTENSE TECHNICAL Q’s
(Nerd speak for: love it!)

June 6 (Thursday)
‘You Got Those Weird Poops’
It’s my new restaurant idea
All you can eat, obvs

June 7 (Friday)
Dad, son … Doing what?
Standing by a major road
Saying: ‘truck!’, ‘woahhhhh!’, ‘jeep!!’

June 8 (Saturday)
Dad’s day gift making
Impressive just how quickly
‘Art’ can become food

June 9 (Sunday)
Exploring new parks
My new favorite thing to do
With my little pal

June 10 (Monday)
Driving down defects
Writing tests can be painful
But mostly cathartic

June 11 (Tuesday)
USWNT
Out there like Alabama
vs South Vermont Prep

June 12 (Wednesday)
Car back from the shop
‘How’d it go?’ … ‘They called me gross.’
*Looks at car* … *Nods* … *Shrugs*

June 13 (Thursday)
Kid pet a bunny!
His lifelong (well, week-plus long)
Goal has been achieved!

June 14 (Friday)
Counting with my son
‘1’ “One!” ‘2 …’ “Twooooo!” ‘3!’ “FIVE!” ‘No,
Not yet doll it’s – ‘ “FIVE!”

June 15 (Saturday)
My new age track star
He gets ‘ready,’ ‘set,’ and ‘go’
… Runs to random spot

June 16 (Sunday)
Happy father’s day
What age will my son realize
Sealed fate of nerdness?

June 17 (Monday)
Colleague has fish lunch
You are to the microwave
What Trump is to States

June 18 (Tuesday)
Big sleep step for kid
No more sleep sack! (Which leads to …
Nighttime gymnastics)

June 19 (Wednesday)
No sleep sack update
Calmly reading bedtime book …
While son chants ‘sleep sack!’

June 20 (Thursday)
Lounging in backyard
Kiddo plays and talks to self
Life is just plain good

June 21 (Friday)
Costco trip with kid
Picky eater at home. Here?
Wolfs down the samples.

June 22 (Saturday)
Wife makes kid ‘coffee’
Milk, plus one part chocolate milk
Sit, and sip, as fam

June 23 (Sunday)
Raise shirt, slap belly
At a park later that day
Kid mimics me … Great …

June 24 (Monday)
Kid crawls into car
Spots, snags an old gummy bear
“Gummy!!” said with JOY

June 25 (Tuesday)
Got called ‘hip’ today
I’m not hip. At all. Trust me.
It’s just ‘young’ in disguise

June 26 (Wednesday)
Three word phrases! Whoo!
‘Not the hands’ kid says, doing …
… What I said not to …

June 27 (Thursday)
You know what I like?
Every bad movie out there
Has one “it’s good!!!” fan

June 28 (Friday)
Heading to Houston
Heat, humidity, and fam
(Fam time gets first place)

June 29 (Saturday)
Wife’s grandma’s birthday
Wife gets up to say something
Me: ‘look!’ Son: ‘OUTSIDE?!?’

June 30 (Sunday)
Toy weed wacker gift.l
It. Is. A. HIT. Kid patrols
Backyard, weed wacking

May 2019 Haiku

May 1 (Wednesday)
Calendar and pics
Lazy with daily haiku
These are my cheat sheets

May 2 (Thursday)
Ring around Rosie
Kid spins then throws himself down
And shouts “DOWN!” with glee

May 3 (Friday)
With one word and tone
The kid can express himself
Highly efficient

May 4 (Saturday)
“Global holiday!”
My wife looks confused then “oh”
(May the Fourth ya know!?)

May 5 (Sunday)
Presentation work
Doing work stuff on weekends
Is always the pits

May 6 (Monday)
This week two things end
Which have been causing me stress
Come on time, fly! (Please)

May 7 (Tuesday)
Morning routine first
Mom gives kiss and hug goodbye
Kid: ‘bye bye mama’

May 8 (Wednesday)
Big presentation
Lots of nerves and stressed out nights
But it’s done! Hooray!

May 9 (Thursday)
Dear self: you busy?
Dear self self: nah, why, what’s up?
Avenger’s date night!

May 10 (Friday)
Wife getting her mom
Solo night: S.N.E.S.
Super Metroid time!

May 11 (Saturday)
Grandma watching kid
Wife and I furniture shop
We’re just so grown up

May 12 (Sunday)
Happy mother’s day!
Especially all you moms
With guns. You scare me.

May 13 (Monday)
What’s that feeling when
A day just ‘happens’? MONDAY!
(That’s corporate humor.)

May 14 (Tuesday)
Kid wakes up early
Chats to himself in his crib
Soothing song to me

May 15 (Wednesday)
Shows have tech all wrong
There’s no constant B.O. … But …
Non-social? Spot on.

May 16 (Thursday)
It’s intern season
Fresh-faced, enthusiastic!
Souls yet to be crushed.

May 17 (Friday)
Wife and I day off!
Zany kid-free day where we’re …
Furniture shopping!

May 18 (Saturday)
To all you new grads
Have cake, high five, whatever
Then get jobs you bums!

May 19 (Sunday)
Sitter is moving
Now to find a new person
To trust with our son

May 20 (Monday)
Kid has changed me lots
Say hi to everything now
Morning, lawn mower!

May 21 (Tuesday)
Kid’s learning to jump
Says ‘hop!,’ goes on tippy toes
It’s adorable.

May 22 (Wednesday)
Playing game with pals
Light knock at window … What the!?
Bunny rescue time!

May 23 (Thursday)
Bunnies in the yard
‘Hop!’ yelled as kid runs at them
They run. ‘Wait wait! ….. FASSSSST!’

May 24 (Friday)
Minnesota trip
For some quality family time
Right on a lake, too!

May 25 (Saturday)
Great day by the lake
Watched folks ski in COLD water
I sipped hot coffee

May 26 (Sunday)
Lots of good fam time
Kiddo following cousins
While they run around

May 27 (Monday)
Many have lost their
Spouse / Parent / Child / Sibling
Must do right by them

May 28 (Tuesday)
Kid built LEGOs up …
Six blocks high! Is that good? Bad?
I just know it’s cute …

May 29 (Wednesday)
Electrician here
“I’m gonna need to do this …”
Is ‘this’ expensive?

May 30 (Thursday)
Hi! I’m the month, May!
And I’m 31 days long!
(Get over it, May)

May 31 (Friday)
Friday daycare treat
School has small packs of gummies
‘Gummies!’ said with glee

Executing the Plan

Here I am in the middle of my first mission with HURLY BURLY, this secretive and evil group bent on world domination BUT ANYWAY that’s not the point.

So here we were, right? We just stole this painting that had secretly encoded into it a pattern discovered by a 4th century Mongolian mathematician … Clive, I think? Wait that doesn’t sound right.

Anyway we were about to leave having TOTALLY just hijacked this painting and no one had heard a thing and it was, like, just perfect you know? And then this guy shows up and somehow he managed to be in shadows the whole time he walked in even though we all had flashlights.

Turns out it was the head of HURLY BURLY (our secret evil organization, remember?) and he began this long speech about how we had just taken a great step toward world domination and it was really exciting to have him be there and all but … I mean … shouldn’t we get going? Our plan is sort of falling by the wayside here, chief.

But then this guy, this member of the crew I was on, he piped up and said something smarmy about how he had already been taking steps for years and the chief just freaking shoots him!

Oh my God, it was terrible.

And then the chief says all nonchalant, ‘any more questions?’

But here’s the thing – I DEFINITELY have a question! Because I have to pee really, really, really badly and it’s like … how much longer you going to be speaking, chief? Because we’ve still got to sneak out of here undetected and there’s only so much focus you can put on sneaking when you’ve got a full bladder.

And! And! Now that I am thinking about my bladder I am not even hearing his motivational speech about world domination.

But like … please can you take questions? Can you give us some sort of, ‘and wrapping up …’ kind of indication in your speech? I mean I want to be a top player in HURLY BURLY and all but I also don’t want to pee myself in this museum with this crazy painting.

Ok well I should probably stop texting you I think the chief just noticed even though I totally have the screen dimmed way low.

I’ll start with something that happened at some point, I have no idea when, but it wasn’t during this month. One day the kiddo and I were heading home from swim lessons and we were stopped at a red light. I looked over and there was a cop giving me this weird little wave. I am sure my eyebrows danced a bit but I thought, ok, rolled down my window and began to return the same weird little silly wave and the MOMENT I began I realized … this is exactly how I wave to little kids. This cop is not waving at me. It was a good time.

Now on to the 21st month. This is the month of the little chatter. The kiddo has consistently been behind on gross motor, but great with language, and it really came alive so much more this month which is a blast for ol’ mom and dad. One change that ol’ mom and dad need to embrace as a result of this is no longer talking about the kiddo like he’s not right there. Because now when we’re relaying a story of some funny thing … he’s listening, and he’s paying attention, and he’s taking notes.

The kiddo and I had developed a pattern.

Kiddo: Spoon?
Me: You want a spoon?
Kiddo: Yes

Kiddo: Yogurt?
Me: You want yogurt?
Kiddo: Yes

But, smart little fella he is, he decided to optimize me out. Here’s how it goes now.

Kiddo (begins walking toward the park): Swing? Swing? Yes.

Does dad happen to want to go to the park at that moment? Irrelevant!

Another exciting language development has been the arrival of a lot more two word phrases. We have some two word things he says that he probably thinks of as one word. For example, there was a perioed where the word truck was replaced with BIG TRUCK because we started trying to add adjectives. But it didn’t quite take. Instead it was just that every vehicle became BIG. BIG CAR. No, dad’s car is actually kinda … BIG TRUUUUUUCK (as an actual big truck drives by), yeah, yeah, that is a big truck! But dad’s car is … BUNDY! (Because a bunny ran by. It’s tough to have a conversation with this guy sometimes.)

BUT! Now we have actual two word phrases. I believe it started with a bye bye car, but then quickly expanded to bye bye truck, bye bye airplane, and one sweet morning a bye bye mama which was adorable to hear. But it’s grown so much past bye byes now. We’ve got open door, close door, lock door (he likes opening and closing doors), baby bunny … I can’t even think of them all.

A special category of two word phrases are two word bossing dad around phrases. Dada sit! Dada come! It’s good to be wanted.

But you want to know a terrible first? A terrible time to be wanted? The kiddo unlocked a new form of torture when we put him to bed one night (which goes swimmingly more often than not) and I was downstairs and thought I heard him crying. I went to the staircase to listen and heard, *sniffle, sniffle … cry … dada? … cry … dadaaaaa* Oh man. Brutal. How fast was I in that room? Very fast.

Speaking of fast (dig those transitions) … The kiddo’s most impressive phrases have been inspired by the bunnies that live under our back patio / our neighbors back patios. He LOVES them, and we have a few baby ones out there now. The kid just plain loves being outside and will go, window to window, door to door, saying ‘outside! outsiiiiide!’ And all the while he is looking for bunnies, or bundy as he calls them. Just the other morning he stood at a window saying hi, hi, hi … bunnnyyyyyy … baby! … baby! Hi! When we let him loose in the backyard to hunt bunnies he’ll sometimes run up to them screaming, sometimes approach them with his finger on his lips saying ‘shhhh’ very loudly and then giving out a loud squawk/laugh. It’s a mix of emotions when hunting bunnies. One day the impressive phrasing was said while approaching a bunny, ‘hop hop hop …’ then the bunny ran away because this tiny, loud, crazy person was coming at it, ‘wait wait wait!’ (which is what I often say to him) and then after the bunny had successfully sprinted off to an insurmountable distance away (the other side of the yard) ‘FASSSSSSST!’

And speaking of hops … The kiddo had another PT appointment for his gross motor skills and we will have one or two more before he turns two. The PT person is thinking he is doing fine but she wants to check in to make sure he makes progressing on jumping/hopping in place. He gets the concept. He’ll say ‘hop!’ and go up on his tippy toes … but there is no leaving the ground. At swim lessons too he has an opportunity to jump when the kids crawl out of the water (he’s stellar at that) and then turn around and jump into mom or dad’s arms but my dear sweet boy instead sits and wiggles his way back to the water and my arms. One day, kiddo!

And before we leave the lawn it would be a great personal failure to forget to mention the heroes of the month – lawn mower, weed whacker. My. Gosh. These two. The kiddo LOVES the lawn mower and the weed whacker. It has thankfully simmered but there was a stretch where these were literally the first words out of his mouth when he woke up. You’d hear some little noises that let you know he was waking and then, ‘weed whack! … lawn … lawn … lawn … weed WHACK.’ He watches me mow the lawn and weed whack with rapt, undivided attention, and if I look over at him and wave or make a silly face he eats it up (which I am quite fond of). My wife’s mom visited for mother’s day weekend and she had the fun task of sitting outside and holding him while I mowed and weed whacked. She decided that night that the kiddo really needed a brand new toy … a toy lawn mower! He would love it! It arrived a few days after she left, we took the kiddo and the lawn mower outside and what did he do? He sat down, said watch, and looked at me. Kid. No. I am not going to use a one foot tall lawn mower to … ok, fine, I’ll humor you. He has since done some indoor lawn mowing but I don’t think he’s truly embraced his lawn mower just yet. One day! We did, however, say good morning and goodnight to his lawn mower, my lawn mower, and the weed whacker every day for about a week.

Mother’s Day weekend was a nice time with my mother-in-law, aka Granny, too! She watched the kiddo for a big chunk one day while my wife and I furniture shopped (hooray?). The sweet little boy cried as we were leaving but then smart Granny said, ‘you want to go to the park?’ and he said, in a half-cry voice, ‘yeah …’ and then ol mom and dad were forgotten about and outdoor adventures were the order of the day.

It was a nice weekend, and great to see the kiddo getting comfortable with his grandma sooner as time is going on. The kiddo is always reluctant with a new face, and reluctant with a repeat face that he doesn’t see very frequently … so it’s great that he is beginning to enjoy the company faster and faster.

We also spent a weekend in Minnesota to visit other family (my wife’s dad’s side) and a few of those folks he seemed to take to pretty quickly. One day one of my wife’s cousins swooped the kiddo up to give us a break, and she distracted him with … yep, going to the garage to say hi to the weed whacker and lawn mower. And my wife’s uncle went ahead and fired up the weed whacker which probably really delighted the kiddo.

The weekend was very relaxed and fun, and the only downside was sleep. The kiddo did NOT sleep well, and in fact slept in bed with mom and dad two different nights. And somehow when he sleeps in bed with us, he always manages to find me and snuggle up so close that he sort of wedges himself slightly underneath me. It’s very sweet, and I love it, but man do I sleep horribly. I woke up at one point and his head was wedged into my armpit, I pitied how he would smell the next day. And each time I’d wake I’d squirm away a few inches, only to wake up again later with this tiny fella smushed against me. It inevitably gets to the point where I have no more space to squirm away, and I just have to accept my tiny space heater friend.

One thing that was a lot of fun to see in Minnesota were the kiddo’s cousins (well, second cousins? whatever they are). One of them is I think 7 and really enjoyed playing den mother to the kiddo. And he loved it too. I’d finish telling the 7 year old, ‘no let him just wander, you don’t need to pick him up’ when he’d walk up to her, raise his arms and say, ‘up!’ United front, please, kid? The kiddo LOVES ‘playing’ with other kids, though most times I see this happening they are older so it’s him running along and trying to keep up. There were two girls at a playground playing and they very sweetly included my son, and he was I think the monster in their game so they ran away about 50 yards and then he ‘ran’ (he’s just learning to run) about 5 yards toward them in the same time it took them to do 50 and just laughed hysterically the whole time. Then they ran back and flew by him and he turned and chased them some more, continuing the delighted laughter.

Now for a number of small things.

My wife was switching clothes from the washer to dryer one day when she said something to the effect of, ‘I feel like a typical boy’s mom. I keep having to fish rocks out of the washer because [kiddo] always puts them in his pockets.’ And it’s true, once he discovered pockets it caused a real wave of delight, and now they are the perfect place to store rocks.

Any parent, aunt, uncle, babysitter, or person around kids knows they like to read the same books over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. It is mildly mind-numbing. For fun I like to give just about everyone an accent. Did you know Babar was German? Did you know the Pout Pout Fish was French? Did you know the Man in the Yellow Hat has a Cockney accent? It’s a little spice. But here’s some tragedy. My wife was on the sidelines during a ‘dada!’ phase and every book picked up was taken to me, the kid would seat himself on my lap (pulling me up and saying ‘move!’ if I was laying down) and then I would begin to read. But wait, what’s this!? Every time I started an accent the kid would say, ‘no no no’ until I would stop and use my normal voice. Now every character sounds the same and there goes my little side-game. Oh, child, why!?

The kiddo very adorably said ‘yes!’ (often more of a ‘yesh!’) … but we lost that this month. It has been replaced with ‘yeah.’ A tragedy because it’s less cute, but one that is not surprising because both my wife and I say yeah. Goodbye yesh, hello yeah (and nope).

One day the kiddo was trapped inside, likely the highest possible tragedy in his mind, because it was raining outside. He sang out, ‘rain rain go way.’ I was dumbstruck. He KNOWS THAT SONG!? That’s AMAZING! I’ve said this before but it is really just crazy to have this tiny person developing alongside you, figuring out language and movements and only a few months ago all he said was babbling gibberish and now he’s got words, phrases, and a whole line of a song! And it was context-appropriate! It’s incredible.

Now a few things that maybe started happening earlier I just don’t remember.

Over the winter months before daycare my son and I developed the following routine. I’d put him in the carseat and he would lift up his baba (pacifier) for me and I’d ‘warm’ it because it would’ve gotten cold overnight. I’d pop it in my mouth and suck on it for a second then hand it back over. Now it’s beautiful out, no more cold baba in the morning but the kiddo still hands me the baba and says ‘warm.’ Every morning. ‘Warm’ and I suck on it for a second. I’ve switched my language and now try to ‘charge’ the pacifier and I announce this and say it’s charged with love. But a week or so into this I still get, ‘warm!?’ when he gets plopped in the car seat.

Something that came from daycare was a funny learned behavior that likely isn’t quite what daycare is going for. The kiddo will scream/shriek/shout/whatever word you want for ear-piercing or just generally loud noise … and then quickly put his finger up to his mouth and say ‘shhhhh.’ Buddy. It’s not a combo move, it’s one or the other.

Speaking of not quite there the kiddo has a number of times pinched my face quite hard and then said either ‘ouch!’ or ‘no no’ and then he pets my face while saying ‘nice … nice.’

That’s it for the rambling dad. Off to more adventures with my favorite 2.5 foot tall person.

Part of the Brood

The kiddo and I were at a park earlier today when we almost got … indoctrinated. I was sitting on the edge of a sandbox (it’s an awesome park) and the kiddo was inside playing. Another kiddo, maybe a year or two older, was also playing in the sandbox with a dump truck.

Then I blinked and one of the other kid’s siblings appeared. This one was maybe a year or two older than the first one.

I blinked again and yikes, another one! This one maybe four or five years older.

man sitting on stairs

I typed in brood in the wordpress free photo library and it gave me this. Come on man, I meant brood the noun!

And oh lord, that kid circling who is a year or so younger than the youngest one … are you part of this pack?

It seems like many people are having fewer kids these days but there are some really bucking the trend. Kudos to you, weird commune seeming people. Oh wait, my son just picked up a fistful  of sand and in the same time he took that the commune-mom got pregnant. No, she wasn’t having sex at the park, it’s just the family is that efficient.

But wow … was that ever one relaxed family. One of the brood crying at all times, seemingly taking turns with who would be crying, a dad who wasn’t there, and a mom just floating around, thinking (I can only assume) murderous thoughts.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to convince my wife she should be pregnant and/or nursing for the next twelve years.

Brood, here we come!!

April 2019 Haiku

April 1 (Monday)
April Fool’s Day tricks
Read some nonsense and bought it
(Felt like Donald Trump)

April 2 (Tuesday)
First jog in long time
And holy cow this is tough
Jog … Why? What’d I do?

April 3 (Wednesday)
Daycare ‘incident’
Description always says ‘friend’
Friends don’t scratch friends, man!

April 4 (Thursday)
Basement progressing
Now when I’m at stores I stare
Awed at new TVs

April 5 (Friday)
Work self-assessment
How am I doing? Oh, fine.
But, Dickens word count …

April 6 (Saturday)
Swim lessons with son
He mostly just stares in awe
…Sometimes blows bubbles

April 7 (Sunday)
Beautiful day out
Bought a dump truck toy for kid
So watch yourself, dirt.

April 8 (Monday)
My bosses last week
Goodbye drinks, and they’re her treat?
Don’t mind if I do!

April 9 (Tuesday)
70 plus out
Jogging with shorts and tshirt
Tomorrow: blizzard

April 10 (Wednesday)
Snow coming down fast
Beautiful to admire
Dreading the drive home

April 11 (Thursday)
Nature’s snow coated
Can’t help but take a deep breath
And appreciate

April 12 (Friday)
Basement work going
Kid thinks it’s me making noise
Keeps calling “dada!!”

April 13 (Saturday)
The spring tradition
Hunker down in the winter
Meet neighbors in spring

April 14 (Sunday)
Walking up to store
Forgot something. Say ‘aw nuts’
Son starts chant: ‘aw nuts’

April 15 (Monday)
Boss has now moved on
Now I’m the team’s scrum master
Ah! What … non-power

April 16 (Tuesday)
Walk with the toddler
He plants himself and says ‘NO!’
Aw! Darling! … Tough break

April 17 (Wednesday)
18 year old girl
Denver schools shut down for fear
So … Gun laws talk time?

April 18 (Thursday)
To be a young lad
Son and I sat by big road
He *LOVED* all big trucks

April 19 (Friday)
Kids egged park by house
Egg something better! Like pans …
Maybe add cheese, too.

April 20 (Saturday)
Kid’s into singing
The words are so so at best
But the boy has soul!

April 21 (Sunday)
Afternoon storm hits
Quick! Time to try out rain boots!
(Dad loves photo ops)

April 22 (Monday)
Tough bug I’m working
Also stumped by side project
My old friend: defeat

April 23 (Tuesday)
Teammates are in town
Today lunch AND brewery
Productive? Work? Huh?

April 24 (Wednesday)
Co-worker told me
Phone as good as in person
My face said: uh, no

April 25 (Thursday)
Kiddo tried chili
‘Hot, hot.’ Small dance. Licks his lips.
Then … Another bite.

April 26 (Friday)
Short notice meeting
Says: ‘new work, starting Monday’
Well … That’s calming news

April 27 (Saturday)
Great treat recently
Kid is waking up slowly
And babbles a lot

April 28 (Sunday)
Big aquarium
Applause, woahhs, pointing, dancing
The kid. Is. A. Fan.

April 29 (Monday)
More details on work
Less dramatic than Friday
(Kinda fun stuff, too)

April 30 (Tuesday)
Ignore the new work!
Finish up our dull testing!
… Yeah … That’ll work out

%d bloggers like this: