DumbFunnery

My wife and I are the proud new owners of fancy bicycles. This is a big step towards us being classic Coloradoans.

My new bike is fancy, and expensive (in my mind – to a true bicyclist, it’s on the lower end). But it is MUCH nicer than my last bike, which was one of Wal-Mart’s finer road bike offerings.

While at the bike shop the guy helping us/selling us on all things biking would occasionally throw out some bike lingo. We would nod before realizing what he just said was gibberish as far as we know.

“Yeah and it’s good to have a spare tube in case you run over some goat heads and get a flat.”

I laughed because this guy clearly has a delightfully weird sense of humor. But wait, no, he wasn’t joking. Are there a lot of goat head skeletons around here that are pointy and cause flats? That’s a thing? Why doesn’t someone clean them up? Better yet, why are there so many dead goats? Should I be concerned about the dead goat population?

After a bit I asked, “so … what are goat heads?” He laughed and said, “oh let me look it up,” then he began typing into Google and got a little afraid, “… I hope this returns pictures that aren’t …”

But no, it returned a picture of what my wife calls “sticker burrs” and what I call “those thorny things” or just “stickers.”

We took the bikes out for a nice 10 mile ride today and high-fived over the brilliance of bike shorts with pads for the tushes. Ah, comfort.