The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.


I wrote this a while ago (right after my parents’ visit in early October) so I want to go ahead and use it.

My parents were in town (sort of, we were more in San Francisco, and as part of the trip we wanted to do some good tourist activities. One of these activities was a visit to the De Young Museum, located in Golden Gate Park.

The main exhibit we went to see was a traveling one about King Tut.

Yes, the King Tut. You may have heard about him from Steve Martin.

Going through the exhibit I noticed a lot of things – how amazingly well kept a number of items were that were buried with King Tut (3200 years old!), the amount of effort and money that went into making these items, a cute girl going through the exhibit (I told her, “I’d like to explore your exhibit,” she said, “I’d rather be embalmed.”), a woman looking at the exhibit while holding the leash of her guide dog (that seriously happened – think about how little sense that makes), and the following phrase mentioned several times to explain items: ‘cosmic cow.’

Just what is the cosmic cow? Well … you look it up. (I tried and couldn’t find anything, but it really was there, it was mentioned in the Book of the Dead or some sort of cool sounding thing like that.)

If I’d seen something about a cow mentioned in the Book of the Dead I would’ve thought, ‘whatever, everyone digs a good burger.’ But a cosmic cow? You can’t eat that! It’s cosmic, man!

It got me thinking, though, what other common things would sound much more impressive by adding the word cosmic? This is a short list of just such things:

Cosmic Monkey (they’re adorrrrabllllle!)

Cosmic Ass Hole (you know the type)

Cosmic Diarrhea (side effect? Cosmic shame – and that’s a lot of shame)

Cosmic Erectile Dysfunction Disorder (no comment)

Cosmic Pimp (Looks good on a business card)

Cosmic Hangover (this makes you puke so much you puke childhood memories)

Cosmic Booty Call (tra la la, baby)

Cosmic Booty Call (don’t get me started)

Comments on: "De Jour of the Week (12/20/09)" (2)

  1. “He’s my favorite honky.”

    *shudder* cosmic cows can cause cosmic mad cow disease.

    • DumbFunnery said:

      Oh man! I hadn’t thought of that …

      What’s the mad cow say?

      MOO! (say it angrily …)

      har har har

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