The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

It's Time to Talk

“Hey Dad, whatcha doing?”

Look at him, sitting on the couch, watching football. It’s like he’s not different at all – but I know better.

“Not much, watching football.”

Oh Dad, what’s happened to you?

“That’s cool. Oh, Arizona-Arizona State, huh? Good game?”

Maybe I should talk to him later? He’s busy. I should talk to him later.

“Uh huh.”

No! Talk to him now! You need to help him!

“So how’s work going and all that?”

Come on, quit beating around the bush and do this!


Ok. Here we go. Just like the commercials say to do.

“Dad. Does anyone you know at work take drugs?”

He’s giving me a look – just ignore it. You need to help him.

“Um. A lot of guys take drugs for cholesterol, some for their hearts, a lot of various ones for pain … Probably some others.”

My God. He’s surrounded by these bad influences. I’m afraid to ask.

“… Do … you … take any drugs, Dad?”

Why hadn’t I seen that commercial before! I would’ve talked to my Dad when he was still in his forties if I’d known it’d help keep him off drugs!

“Well, yeah. I take stuff for pain in my back and shoulders, not every day though. And also for cholesterol.”

Why! Whyyyyyy!

“Does that … help you? Does it make you feel better … Dad?”

Wait – he said he doesn’t take pain killers every day, I may not be too late!

“Oh yeah, I definitely need them.”

Keep strong, keep strong.

“Why, Dad, why?”

I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.

“Why do I take the drugs? Well, lots of reasons, but I started because the doctor said I should.”

Oh, God! The doctor’s a pusher! I should’ve known! Who else is involved with this terrible scheme!

“Well Dad, -”

“Actually my bosses all take the exact same drugs as I do. Kinda funny.”

So this is a popularity thing? That’s why, Dad? To be liked!

“Ok, Dad.”

What am I supposed to do?

I can’t believe this. I can’t win against these odds. The commercials, the bandwagon-ism of it all, the perceived need!

I’m too stressed – I’m going to go get high.

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