The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Pavlov’s Prison

Sheriff Joe was a cruel, cruel man. Well, unless you asked him. In that case he was a clever S.O.B. with a twisted sense of humor. If you asked one of his inmates though, he was a cruel, cruel man.

“Let’s think about the facts – most prisoners are men. Men commit more violent crimes. And this idea, frankly, is geared toward men.”

The inmates hated it but what was the other option, to avoid it altogether?

“I got the idea one night when my wife, Ava Maria, she was watching some documentary on that fella Pavlov. He had the dogs. And they’d go crazy for bells. I thought about it, and I decided I could use that for the benefit of society.” Then Joe adds with a laugh, “Not bells, exactly, of course.”

The declaration came out, conjugal visits would be allowed, but there was a certain drawback.

During the course of the visit, a police siren will play the whole time in the conjugal trailer.

Joey Lawrence, 36, summed up his and the rest of the prisoners reactions with one word – “Wow.”

“I figure,” Joe says with a grin, “It’ll be awful damn hard to run from the cops with an erection. And hey, maybe it’ll make some of these fellas come to appreciate the police in a whole new way.”

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