The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

He’s a Pedophile, But …

If you’re in Alabama and heading to the polls this Tuesday, you’ve got a big decision. The pedophile, or the Democrat. This is, apparently, not an easy decision. Perhaps you are a Roy Moore fan and have just a smidgen of guilt. Don’t worry, we here at DumbFunnery have you covered. If we left off any of your ‘but …’ rationale, email us at, comment on this post, or tweet us @DumbFunnery.

He’s a pedophile, but …

  • Boy does he have nice hats!
  • At least he’s not into children! By the way, what does pedophile mean?
  • Therapists need money too – and he’s helping create a huge base of people who need therapy. This is trickle down economics at its finest!
  • We all have our faults! For example, I can be gassy.
  • He clearly cares deeply about the children.

Go out, delude yourself into thinking all of the allegations are false, and vote with a clear conscious. Or, don’t be a crazy person, and vote for the non-pedophile.

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