The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

‘Discoverer’: OH. MY. GOD! THIS IS AMAZING! Guys … GUYS!

Person 1: Hey, what’s up?

Person 2: Ohhhhhh. I see. He discovered fire.

‘Discoverer’: Can you believe this?! This is amazing!!!

Person 1: Aw. Yes, it is amazing, kid.

Person 2: Yep.

‘Discoverer’: Ok. Fine. Sure. Whatever. You guys have also discovered fire but like … COME ON! Look at this PARTICULAR fire. It is …

Person 1: No, no, sweetheart.

Person 2: Love your fire. It’s what you should do. But your fire is not objectively more special than anyone else’s fire is to them.

‘Discoverer’: (Uh … yeah huh.)

Person 2: Child. I have discovered fire FOUR times. You think I don’t know when someone is talking under their breath at me?

‘Discoverer’: (Kicks sand sheepishly) It’s just …

Person 1: I get it. Your fire is incredible. As it should be.

‘Discoverer’: Yeah, I mean I can’t prove it but I feel like there is an intensity to my fire that –

Person 2: Child.

‘Discoverer’: Ok ok, fine. Whatever. Every fire is great. But you know what, I still think mine is a more magical fire than the fires you discovered.

Person 1: As you should.

Person 2: And it’s such a cute fire.

‘Discoverer’: (Yeah, way cuter than your fires …)

Person 1 and 2, in unison: Child.

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