Watching NHL playoff hockey, you see a few beards. And, occasionally they show a fella sitting on the bench licking his lips and perhaps … the old flavor saver?
That has NHL fans everywhere wondering …
WHAT’S! IN! THEIR! BEARDS!
Alexander Ovechkin – He actually has a Russian doll of beards, and is savoring the taste of a smaller beard (and I bet you’ll never guess what’s inside that tinier beard!)
LeBeard Grovtuskinovich – Famous half-French, half-Russian hockey player who once said after a game, ‘I dropped my ham.’ Sure enough, an 8 pound ham was found on the ice.
Joe Thornton (retired) – David Sedaris, the author, actually lives in his beard and makes him delightful French pastries. It’s one of nature’s weirdest symbiotic relationships (Thornton provides Sedaris with whimsical thoughts).
Sidney Crosby – Play-Doh. Is he great at hockey? Undeniably. Does he desperately need a therapist? And then some.
P.K. Subban – No snacks here. No sir. Instead it’s a small index card with reminders of stuff white people like. Wait. Wait just a minute! Subban, you trickster! He also has an assortment of cheeses to help calm his white teammates when they get too riled.