The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘furlough’

Silver Linings of the Government Shutdown

  • Kids today know what the word furlough means.
  • That group of college guys who wanted to film a scene in D.C. where everything looks deserted for their zombie movie have a chance.
  • In an act of solidarity with government workers on furlough, employees across the United States will reduce productivity by 50% (time spent sitting around complaining about the government).
  • You can figure out which coworkers don’t pay attention to the news by listening for statements like: “There was no traffic this morning by [government facility]! It was weird but so nice!”
  • Video game playing government employees have a chance to win while playing games online because they will flood the servers were their moderate skill levels will be ok (as opposed to playing at night when you get destroyed by younger folks).
  • With only essential personnel working, paranoid schizophrenics can finally relax because until the government is back up every movement and thought of theirs will not be tracked.
  • It gives us a reason to question if our up-til-now perfect government might have flaws …
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