The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘speech’

Toasty Toast – Mindfulness

When you join Toastmasters you get a book called “Competent Communicator.” In this book there are prompts for ten speeches, and it’s a good thing to get all ten of those knocked out.

Each speech has a purpose, the first was just to get you up there (the icebreaker). The second is to focus on organizing (in case you just rambled the first time up, I suppose), and the third is called, “to the point.” In this speech you have a general and a specific purpose (not as in The Jerk’s special purpose).

I think I feel more comfortable when I start talking and no one expects to leave feeling as though they have a purpose, because that means I can jabber endlessly without a purpose – and I clearly enjoy doing that.

 

Mindfulness

Today on my drive into work I didn’t really notice the mountains. I didn’t really notice the sky. I didn’t really notice my house, the neighborhood, or just how short and nice my commute is.

That’s kind of disappointing, isn’t it?

Just a few months ago, when I moved out here, every day I drove into work it was practically a gift. My commute here is MUCH shorter than it used to be, and on top of that, it’s about as beautiful a backdrop to a commute as someone could ask for.

And yet here I am, already taking all of that for granted.

My speech today is supposed to have an objective. ‘What do you want the audience to be able to do after listening to your speech?’

When I was trying to think of what to talk about, I realized that I didn’t have any particular purpose that I wanted all of you to leave here with – but I did know something that I wanted to work on. And that’s to be more mindful, because it is far too easy for amazing and beautiful things to become normal, to become things that can be taken for granted or seen as normal.

If any of you also want to try and be more appreciative of the present, I’d like to share three things that I’m going to try to help achieve a little more mindfulness.

The first thing is a trick to put myself in a better state of mind.

It’s almost summer now, and with that we will soak up those rays of sun, enjoy warm weather, being outside, maybe getting to work on some outdoor project. One thing I’m excited about is being able to take a kayak out on a lake with a little packed lunch. I could paddle out to a spot where I’ll feel isolated on the water and stare at the mountains as I chomp down on my food.

During those times, life is good.

But I know myself. I know that not long after it’s continuously warm I’ll be thinking, “all right warm weather … that’s a BIT much. Let’s take it down a notch, eh?” Soon I’ll be fantasizing about fall, the colors of fall, pumpkin-flavored everything, heck, pumpkin pie itself composed of about 60% whipped cream, the return of long sleeves, and crisp air that cools my face as I jog.

And then from there I’ll think of winter. The walk from my house to the mailbox and back is the perfect distance to put you in the right mood for hot chocolate.

There I’ll be, baking in the sun daydreaming about the nice parts of winter. Which is fine, but it’s not making me appreciate the fact that I’m in the middle of the kind of daydream I was having only a few short months ago.

The trick, then, is to take myself to the past, but not to fantasize it. I want to think about the past where I was hoping and wanting this very moment. I’ll think about the bad parts of the opposite season – and then it makes me appreciate what I have in this moment. I need to remember that biting cold of winter – waking up in a cold house, the sky being dark at 5:30 pm, and my hands were dry and my feet could practically be ice packs when I get in bed at night.

And that could be applied to so much more than weather. Don’t focus on where you are now and compare that to where you want to be next, focus on now and where you’ve come from to get here.

Next up is mealtime. Talk about an easy thing to take for granted.

Think back on the last meal you had. After you took a bite, what were you thinking about? The news? Conversation? The next bite? What you need to get done? Did you put your utensils down?

One trick for appreciating your food more is to put your utensils down between each bite. If you keep the fork, or whatever, in your hand, you’re thinking about your next bite. The meal is not something you are enjoying and appreciating, but something you are getting done. Putting the utensil down also gives your body time to realize that you’ve already had enough to eat – you don’t need to go for it on those last ten bites.

Vegetables are one thing I should be more appreciative. When I was a kid I assumed the only reason grown-ups liked them was because all their taste buds had died.

There was one time, my whole family was at the dinner table. I only had broccoli left on my plate … this was the only thing keeping me from desert. When I was sure no one was looking I snagged the broccoli off my plate and started to slouch down in my seat. I was being pouty so this was just emphasizing my mood. As I slouched further and further I was finally able to reach the floor – I quickly shoved the broccoli under the leg of the table then sat back up. “I’m ready for desert now, please!” My WHOLE FAMILY saw me do that! They ALL knew I was lying!

And now I actually request broccoli with dinner. I really ought to be more appreciative of how far I’ve come there. If you had similar feelings toward vegetables – enjoy them more! Appreciate where you are!

Slow down at meal times, put your utensils down between bites, and the meal will be better.

The last, but certainly not least, trick for appreciating the life you have is to help others. This doesn’t even need to be volunteering – help can be given everywhere you go.

And you’re surrounded by people who need help. Is there someone relatively new to work around you? Smile at that person. Recognize how scary and new everything is. Do you have some hobby and someone you know is trying to learn that? Make it known if you’ve got advice if they want it. Helping people can make you appreciate what you have – skills, kindness, patience, whatever it is, you’ve got something.

I can tell all of you who were here when I joined – that you certainly helped me. I’m going to let you in on a secret – software engineers are not the most socially engaging, welcoming, warm crowd. I was new here and missing my friends from back in Texas and I came to this club and everyone was smiling, and friendly, and nice. That was great, and I bet all of you did it without a second thought.

The next time you’re kind to someone, or you help, even if it’s in the smallest of ways, take a moment to pat yourself on the back, and think back on a time when someone showed you some kindness, and just appreciate how, despite it being such a simple thing, helping people can generate such a great feeling.

Mindfulness. It’s tough. Living in the moment, all the time, would be incredibly draining. It’s somewhat of a shame, but we’re simply too busy to be appreciative all the time.

But that shouldn’t stop you, or me, from taking time to be appreciative.

Think about your past self, and how much you looked forward to the point where you’d be where you are today. Take time to think about that, instead of always where you want to be.

The next time you eat – slow down. Put the fork down, close your eyes, and focus on that bite.

Think about helping others, in big or small ways, recognize that help, and seek opportunities to continue to help.

Hopefully everyone will leave here today remembering at least one of these little tricks to help with being mindful of the present, and you can be a little more appreciative and happy.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Student of the Toast

Recently I joined Toastmasters … If you knew me (and if you’re reading this you likely do), you’ll know that’s not an expected move. I don’t particularly like public speaking unless I do well. Toastmasters, hopefully, will increase the odds of me doing well. Thus, the reason I signed up!

(Nah, the real reason? I am new to an area and this is always when I’m my most social and outgoing. What better way to meet people than to stand in front of them and say um a lot?)

The first speech you give in Toastmasters is an “ice breaker.” The objective is just to stand up in front of a group of people and talk, and the secondary objective is to see where you stand as far as public speaking goes. I was told that I need to vary my pace and add pauses. Apparently I speak like one of those ‘text to talk’ computer programs?

Because I am a lazy blogger I will most likely be posting my speeches … why go to all that effort and then just share with one audience?

Anywho. Here I is, folks, this is I.

***

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is DumbFunnery, and today I will be talking to you about … myself.

When I thought about the icebreaker speech I wondered what would make the most sense – a bunch of facts summarizing my life?, some of my favorite short stories about my friends and me?, there are a lot of ways you can introduce yourself to a group of people.

In the end I decided to describe myself by telling you what I would consider to be an amazing weekend. I now transport you to the magical place of Saturday morning, 6:30 am, in the land of ideal DumbFunnery.

I’m up and dressed for a jog, eating a banana that is at the perfect ripeness. A perfectly ripe banana is a wonderful thing. I’m also sipping water and doing a bit of stretching – today is an easy day. I am capable of jogging let’s say 16 miles, but today I’m only doing 10. I head out the door, turn on my phone to a new CD that is some funky, poppy goodness, and I’m going. Today’s jog is fantastic – it’s one of those ones where I’m in a groove, my pace is awesome and I feel like I could just go and go.

When I get back home I have my favorite granola cereal, which is difficult since it’s this one that a local grocery chain in Texas makes, but my in-laws are kind people and they have recently visited and brought a few boxes to feed my addition. I have my cereal with some blueberries in it, watching the local news and laughing at how corny they can be.

After breakfast I bathe and sit down to write for a little bit. Normally at work I focus more on the logical side of my brain, writing allows me to be weird and nonsensical, which is fun. Today the words are flowing out of me and before I know it I have something that is actually pretty good! All right! It’s weird, I think it’s funny, and it flows well. Not too shabby.

Following that my wife and I have lunch and scheme on our afternoon – finishing up a house project. We have a house and are slowly learning how to do this and that, and today we have the last piece of a project that is great, and grand and … most importantly, within our limited reach.

Many high-fives, and of course Facebook posts later and we are heading out or hosting friends for dinner and a board game or two. We have a good night talking, playing games, and soon enough we’ve been laughing and smiling so much that our mouths hurt.

Then it’s bedtime and suddenly it’s Sunday. Because this is an ideal weekend we are our good, ambitious selves, and we have signed up for a volunteer project. If it’s my choice it’s something manual or working with kids, if it’s my wife’s choice it might be a food bank. Or maybe we’re handing out water at a run, cheering folks on, and also jealous that we’re not taking part (or, depending on the run, happy we aren’t taking part).

Realistically, at this point or some point we would have had to go run some typical errands that are magical time warps. You enter a grocery store with two items on the list and you leave forty-five minutes later with twenty things. How does this happen? But don’t worry, we’re in an ideal land.

Instead of running errands we head straight home and enjoy coffee and the news. Or coffee and a book. Or coffee and sitting around talking. Whatever it is, we’re sipping coffee and relaxing.

At the time I’m toward the end of a book that I have been enjoying so much I can’t put it down, but at the same time I don’t want to finish it. It’s either hysterical, or gripping, or it’s making me think thoughts I hadn’t thought to think before.

I finish the book and sit back and breathe out a deep sigh. I read one time that after you read something you shouldn’t immediately jump to doing something else – especially if you are trying to learn what you just read, or if it’s a complicated matter you need to let your brain digest for a while.

I think a lot of weekends suffer from time travel, and this one is no exception. It’s dinner time suddenly and while getting dinner ready I think back on the afternoon and wonder what I did that lead to this day being so close to over.

Dinner is something simple and delicious, but the most exciting thing is the ice cream after dinner. A big bowl of ice cream is a long time friend of mine, and we have spent many nights together. And to go with that ice cream is a quirky, oddball movie that is sweet.

There you have it. Me in the form of an ideal weekend – there’s jogging, writing, reading, helping people, adding to our house, being with friends, and also a good chunk of non-activity. I think, with love as the theme of the week, this whole weekend represents doing things that I love.

Thank you.

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Weekly Wacko

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Don’t Mess Up

This week I had a fancy work event which I was very nervous about. Generally at work I never do any public speaking. I will sometimes speak to a group of about 20, if it’s at a meeting for my manager … But that’s a casual atmosphere where I know everyone. And I am not doing any actual presentation.

On Tuesday morning I had to introduce my boss’s boss’s boss (I think it sounds more fun to say it that way than with titles). I was pretty nervous about this. I practiced the very brief (30 seconds or so) introduction to the point of memorizing the speech.

There are a few ways that seemed like ways I could mess up introducing Miss Boss’s Boss’s Boss:

  • In the middle of the introduction, revert to what I would often do while practicing, which was to say “blaaaaaaah!! I don’t wanna DO THISSSSSS!!!”
  • Accidentally imply she’s a cyborg
  • Wonder aloud how the audience thinks I’m doing
  • Picture the audience in their underwear (I’m not saying there weren’t good looking people there, but overall that would be a bad move for my vision)
  • Set an oscillating fan beside me, and mimic the fan’s behavior while speaking (you know, look to the left part of the room for a few seconds, gradually shift my gaze and look in the middle a few seconds, you get the gist) … Then at the conclusion of my introduction I would say, “Yes, it’s clear (so and so) is an impressive woman. I guess you could say I’m her biggest … fan.”

Thankfully I didn’t do any of those things. My boss’s boss told me I looked far too serious (which makes sense, I was nervous). I plan to ask him how I did overall … I have a feeling that’ll lead to a lot more jokes, but it’ll be good.

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Du Jour of the Week

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