The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.


Wrote this during lunch break at work. I had a taco salad today.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles are for Cries, Wails, and Ear-Splitting Squeals

Don’t sit there, don’t sit there, don’t sit there!
… You sat there.
My teeth smile, but my eyes glare
A cold. Unforgiving. Harsh. Glare.
Why the malicious stare?

A woman, with her child
Whose disposition one could never, ever, call mild
Has just set this child
This thing easily-riled
This thing that is so wild,
This thing that looks so out of contriled,

On a seat next to me.
Said creature looks around to see
But all I see
All I need to see
All I see, even with lids closed and mind shut and eyes looking way out over that way and music blasting me

Is that decibel producing,
Drool profusing,
Bathroom conducing,
Smelly child (and that smell can be quit nausea inducing.)

And now my plane, train or automobile ride
Is a showcase for a crying, wailing or squealing THING at my side

And, worry not, that’s not all –
Bottles, bags, wipes, snacks, blankets, diapers, clothes, toys, et. al,
My space is invaded by this mobile mall

Mothers! Fathers! Take note of this wordy complaint!
I’m happy to sit by you if you realize while your child is cute, – it’s no saint

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