My sister, E$, and I enjoy GOOD questions like, “if you were an animal, what would you be.” Not what you WANT to be, but what you WOULD be. E$ and I debated about this and we came up with answers for our family.
My mom is a kangaroo because she is protective, but can be fierce.
My dad is a beaver because he is very mechanically and do-it-yourself inclined.
My brother is a … well, he doesn’t agree with what we say he is.
My sister is a panda because (this one is more joke-sy) she likes to sleep, and eat.
And according to my mom, I’m a sheep dog because I’m smart and cute.
That winter I ended up going on a short ski trip with my sister and two of her friends. The four of us went out to dinner one night and the question was raised: if you were an animal, what would you be? My sister continued to be the panda (one of her friends at dinner was the one who coined that), and I offered one for myself.
“I’m a jaguar.” BOOM! It’s a fact.
“What?!”
“Uh-uh.”
“No. Sorry, no.”
No one could see my true jaguar self. One of them suggested pigeon, to insult me. We talked back and forth and decided I was a fox. The conversation cracked my sister up because of the immediate and strong “nuh uhs” that came from my saying I was a jaguar. I was shot down, but like the jaguar, I’m a fighter.
This past Thanksgiving my sister and I had dinner with my Cousin E and his wife. Again, I raised the question. After a little while someone asked me what I am (it may have been my sister, who did so deliberately).
“I’m a jaguar.” Still a fact.
“Ehhh …”
“Nah.”
My sister started laughing and again I was foiled. Cousin E and his wife did not know that my past has been RIDDLED, yes RIDDLED, with people not knowing how jaguar-like I really am. But they were quick to shoot down my thought.
A little while after that my sister found an online test, found here, which through nine simple questions lets you know what animal you are. According to them I am an owl.
We all know that’s a lie.
At Christmas I found a report I’d written in the 4th grade on the lovely, the talented, the me, the jaguar. The report is magically bad. Fact after fact comes at you for 2 large font, double spaced pages. My Cousin E said, “it’s like you’re reading the encyclopedia.” We looked on page three of the report, the bibliography, and sure enough the encyclopedia was one of my three sources.
DumbFunnery 
Comments on: "Weekly Wacko (12)" (6)
I chuckled at that last comment, “and den?”
I totally see you sharing the same characteristic traits as a jaguar…but actually, don’t you think that the has a much more striking resemblance to you?
I keed I keed!
On a more somber note, when I took that online test it said I was a Horned Joker?!?!?! That’s not even species, is it?
Shucks, I messed up the tag. It left out “Emu” but made everything after hypertext.
Come to think of it, that’s exactly the kind of behavior that page said a horned joker would do.
haha typical horned joker … that can be the new phrase that sweeps America!
Also that picture nearly made me do a spit take on my cereal. I’ll send it to my mom to freak her out. ha.
I’m so referring to you as Jag from now on.
I saw a book report last year that I had done in the second grade, it said “This was a good book. I liked it very much. I think everyone should read it.” That was the whole report.
My siblings and I used to do the same thing. We also did what Tv show character, cartoon Winnie the Pooh character ect.
I always fancied myself an Eeyore. Though I don’t think that makes me Donkey in nature.
Mark one up for Brad. I will still refer to you as an owl. Maybe the owl from the old Tootsie Pop commercials.
I’m guessing you got an “and then …?” grade on that report?
I wonder how long you have to be a teacher until when you start crying while grading homework, you don’t know if the tears are from laughing or sadness …
Oh, doing the who are you TV show characters is definitely fun.
Eeyore! Winnie the Pooh characters are so extreme in their directions, it’s hard to say. I need a character that doesn’t feel that strongly about anything … but that’d be a boring show.