The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

There are in the world, at any given moment, roughly fifty personalities that are so strong even being in the same room with one of them gives you a sense of accomplishment.

One might think, given the strength of these personalities, that they would naturally be world leaders or CEOs or some other position of power and great influence. This is not true. The fifty or so people range in careers. At one time, as recently as the 1970s, one of them was actually a sheep herder. The young man owned four outfits and yet he could have been monumental in bringing about an age of peace and prosperity the likes of which the world has rarely seen.

Why are these personalities being spoken of? Because of the Earth-shattering change that recently happened.

Everyone of course remembers the way the ocean tides stopped recently. That was pretty noticeable. Also noticeable was how one side of the Earth has been dark for a few days straight now. It’s distracting, to say the least.

These big events have overshadowed another big event, which, scientists now believe, was the cause of the more news-worthy items. I’m talking about the explosion at the recently opened McDonald’s in Jiayuguan, China. A grease fire mishandled at a McDonald’s. How that is not a more common news bulletin is another matter entirely.

The most shocking item is that, by pure chance, eighteen of the fifty personalities were in that area and tragically were killed in the explosion.

Some people believe the world revolves around them. It is a foolish misconception sparked by their own vanity. For those roughly fifty people, this sentiment is true.

And this is why the world has stopped revolving.

‘Who will the world revolve around now that you’re dead?,’ this is the question foremost on the minds of every citizen of the world.

The world is at a standstill, literally, with an abundance of people who think the world revolves around them, and a definite shortage of those who make the world go round.

(This was inspired by this joking quote from Tim Minchin, “My last words are going to be, ‘Who’s the world going to revolve around now?'”)

Comments on: "The Day the Oceans Stopped" (1)

  1. Haha, well done sir. Very snarky. Thank God it isn’t this world that revolves around me. When I die, no one will even care about neptune coming to a halt.

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