The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Dear Deftones,

How are you today? I hope you are well. I wanted to write to express a few concerns I have and I even have a suggestion! Of course you are free to ignore it but maybe I will be like that little girl who supposedly wrote Lincoln about his mustache and I can help lead you to even greater things.

Note: I am not a little girl, nor do I sometimes think I am.

On Saturday, May 31st, I saw you perform live in Houston at the Free Press Summer Fest (FPSF). One good note: the crowd seemed to love you. Another good note: You did not accidentally say “hello Boston!” or “how’s everyone feeling, Alberta?”

I was at the concert because my fiance is a fan, so I have the benefit of an outsiders perspective here.

At one point my fiance turned to me and said, “oh this was my favorite song when I was in high school!” and I said, “this is a different song than the last one?” Sure, YOU might not find this funny, and neither did anyone else around me … But let me explain the joke! I said this because you seem to scream a lot. Do you lack confidence in your singing voice? Try some lessons. Maybe you’re already a good singer and are screaming as a rebellion against your parents? Try therapy. Whatever it is, we can get you singing lyrics in no time!

My concern is this: are you not aware of different state’s laws concerning marijuana? I ask because at one point you said, “smoke more weed, mother f***ers” (by the way, language, mister!). If you had been playing in Colorado, this would be ok, it’s no different than saying “eat more apples, mother f***ers” (maybe a little strong of a healthy suggestion, but apples ARE delicious). What I’m getting at is that in Texas recreational marijuana use is still not legal, so just keep that in mind!

But hey, if you are comfortable with who you are, by all means, keep at it!

Sincerely,

DumbFunnery.com

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