DumbFunnery

My latest corporate development is an unfortunate one – I have taken on a new pet peeve. Just what everyone wants, things in their life that had always been there but now they drive them nuts.

At work I sit near a coffee machine that has three coffee pots. Two normal and one for decaf (I think we have one, maybe two decaf drinkers … you guys are just messing it up for everyone. A full pot for you crazies? Madness.)

A coworker has a system for the coffee pots which I subscribe to, as do a number of others. The system is that you pour coffee from the right coffee pot, and when that is empty you move the left one over and start a new pot brewing in the now emptied pot. Therefore the left should always be full, or if a rush comes and lots of coffee is taken, someone is setting the machine up to brew a new pot. A smooth machine.

But. There are … those. Those who do not subscribe to the system. Those who come around and pour a little bit from each pot. Because it is inevitable that I come around and the right one is mostly empty (grumble grumble, lazy jerks) and then the left one is … equally almost empty (lip snarl grumble long exhale head shake).

The coffee scoundrels.

That’s when a few sound bytes will appear in my mind – “it’s not that hard, just make another pot.” But then, “EXACTLY. It’s not that hard! Who is the punk that is stealing coffee lazily!?”

Now when I’m at the coffee pot I watch people. I judge. I make predictions and assumptions.

And these, these dear future children, are the kinds of mental developments that happen when you are a corporate entity.

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Want the history of “Corporate Brad?” Sure, have at it …
•    Corporate Brad – From 3/15/2010
•    Self-Assessment – From 10/25/2012
•    Don’t Mess Up – From 4/25/2013
•    SysML, UML, and My Most Ambitious Self – From 6/13/2013
•    Corporate Brad Update – From 9/16/2013
•    Corporate Brad Announcement – From 8/11/2014
•    My Legacy at Work – From 11/24/2014