The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

I know this won’t apply to more than 99% of the people reading this, but it’s important to me and hopefully everyone can respect that.

I’ve got a vanity license plate which says “thisguy.” It’s great, I’ve never regretted it for a moment. A friend of mine told me that I should find the girl who has the license plate “thisgrl” and marry her – but I think that’s tacky. It’s so obvious.

But it got me thinking – I could use a compadre, a compatriot, a brother-in-vanity-plate-arms. And who would be better than “that guy.”

Just imagine it! We’re out for a car ride on a Sunday morning, I fly through the church traffic making some Christian family on their way to being holy utter the big dude’s name in vain and then you cruise by, real slow and respectful like, and that Christian dad goes from angry to laughing. “Honey,” he says, pausing to laugh, “did you see that? First thisguy … then thatguy … God sure does have a sense of humor.”

That’s not God, bro, that’s me, my vanity license plate, and you.

And what about us on a two-lane highway, driving 50 in a 65, side-by-side, everyone behind us furious and yet … impressed. The coordination it must have taken to get thisguy and thatguy together as a unified team.

Please don’t respond to this ad if you don’t actually have the license plate thatguy. I have wasted far too much time driving to fake addresses and random people’s houses just so they can see that yes, I am actually for real about this.

Thanks,
thisguy

P.S. When you see me driving around give me a wave or something, solidarity!

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