DumbFunnery

Recently at work I tried to write some intelligent error messages for the end user. This is a very dull thing to do that involves a lot of focus on finding the exact right words. Here are some error messages that I, as a user, would much prefer to see.

• Don’t panic, but something has gone horribly wrong.
• LOL!, no but seriously don’t do that.
• You caused a series of events so unexpected we didn’t bother to craft an intelligent error message. Well done, you.
• Remember how the old Zelda games had a hand in some dungeons that would grab you and put you back at the start? This is just like that. Restarting in 10 ….
• So I said, “tell you about race conditions? Sure, I’ll tell you about race conditions!” And then I talked about society, and culture, and I didn’t get the job. But these clowns hired me!