DumbFunnery

May 1 (Tuesday)
Hectic day today
Wife cancels most of her work
Tending to sick babe

May 2 (Wednesday)
No daycare today
Love the cuddles, hate the woes
But! Getting better!

May 3 (Thursday)
Partial daycare day
I went for early pickup
His smile warms my heart

May 4 (Friday)
Is it my birthday?
No. Did I buy myself stuff?
Duh. It’s Star Wars day.

May 5 (Saturday)
Friend is visiting
Kid takes it in, thinks to self,
‘Folks … NO SLEEP FOR YOU!’

May 6 (Sunday)
Cough’s one month birthday
I love you cough … Is that weird?
(It’s Stockholm Syndrome)

May 7 (Monday)
Went to a clinic
Come on drugs, work your magic!
RID ME OF THIS COLD!

May 8 (Tuesday)
Would I like tea more
If I didn’t just drink it
When my throat feels off?

May 9 (Wednesday)
A Hugh Grant haiku
‘Well, er, ah … Ahem’ (smiles)
‘This is rather … Ah …’

May 10 (Thursday)
Alarm clock function:
Most useless thing on my phone
Thanks dear son of mine

May 11 (Friday)
Comically bad luck
Just about done with chest cough
Then injure myself

May 12 (Saturday)
Lazy dad scramble!
Stores full of dad’s just staring
Hope gifts talk: ‘pick me!’

May 13 (Sunday)
Happy Mother’s Day!
Just relax hard-working moms!
… … … Babe? … … What do I do?

May 14 (Monday)
The kiddo babbled!!!
It was for like … two seconds
But still! I’ll count it!

May 15 (Tuesday)
Been thinking a lot
Fancy pants is way too vague
Need well-defined pants

May 16 (Wednesday)
Sudden trip up north
Wife’s grandma’s not doing well
Going to say goodbye

May 17 (Thursday)
Kiddo’s helping out
Big, innocent eyes of kid
Help to lift spirits

May 18 (Friday)
Wife’s grandma gone now
Tears, memories, and snacking
Day spent at Grandma’s

May 19 (Saturday)
Flying home today
Kid napped on me one hour
Brings me joy (and aches)

May 20 (Sunday)
Wife and kid both sick
And my mom is coming by
To see babe, catch cold

May 21 (Monday)
Kiddo doubled down
Said, ‘why one ear infection …
‘when you can have two!?!’

May 22 (Tuesday)
“The world’s worst dentist”
My son’s tiny, strong hands try
To rip off my jaw

May 23 (Wednesday)
When life gives lemons
See if you can exchange them
I mean, gross, they’re bruised

May 24 (Thursday)
Holy crawl-moly!
Kiddo is really moving!
… We need to vacuum

May 25 (Friday)
Work has been all tests
Click here, try that, click there … Borrrrred.
I’m so sick of tests

May 26 (Saturday)
Long weekend: day 1
Long to do list and big dreams
… Accomplish little

May 27 (Sunday)
Long weekend: day 2
Here are all the things to do
Some other weekend

May 28 (Monday)
Lost in the charcoal
Is today’s somber purpose.
Humble thanks offered.

May 29 (Tuesday)
Daily ritual:
Kiddo does something; heart melts;
Re-forms with more love

May 30 (Wednesday)
Daycare drop off fun
It’s a short drive there, and yet …
Kid poops half the time

May 31 (Thursday)
Intern campus tour
Time to establish my creep vibe:
‘Hi youths, be my friend’