The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haiku’

January 2019 Haiku

January 1 (Tuesday)
Happy New Year, all!
Sans those who floss every day
You show off weirdos

January 2 (Wednesday)
Back to work today
And no customer issues
While on vacation!

January 3 (Thursday)
What age will stop
The January letdown:
So far til Christmas

January 4 (Friday)
Government’s shut down
Can I get a discount on
Federal taxes?

January 5 (Saturday)
Haircut for kiddo
Makes him look like world’s smallest
Corporate drone (like dad!)

January 6 (Sunday)
Bag of mixed veggies
Kid LOVES peas, can’t get enough
Green beans? BETRAYAL!

January 7 (Monday)
Sunday self: DO IT
Monday self: why, past self, why!?
(Zero donuts left)

January 8 (Tuesday)
Drop kid at daycare
Teacher does elephant noise …
Kid (and I) amazed

January 9 (Wednesday)
Daycare calls: kid puked
Keeps puking … Doc, then ER
IV bag heals him

#dehydrationIsNoJoke

January 10 (Thursday)
Late night snuggle time
Kid wakes crying, pick him up
Melts right into me

January 11 (Friday)
In laws visiting
Grandma happily sets up
Delayed Christmas gift

January 12 (Saturday)
Wife and folks are off
Running errands; Kid, me have
Cheese eating contest

January 13 (Sunday)
Kid’s first time sledding!
Not sure how much he loved it
But all else sure did

January 14 (Monday)
And kid’s stomach bug
Has transferred to dear old me
Weight loss. The bad way.

January 15 (Tuesday)
Four intense hours
Of feeling like hot garbage
But now I’m better?

January 16 (Wednesday)
Hardware-software team
Solving a hardware problem
… So I’m of no help

January 17 (Thursday)
Manual testing
Hoping next release is good
(And I wrote good code)

January 18 (Friday)
Cracking my son up
By yelling the word ‘HEY!’ lots
I’m a funny guy?

January 19 (Saturday)
Kid is walking! (Nah.)
Walks holding mom or dad’s hand
Great progress, monster!

January 20 (Sunday)
Folding some laundry
While kid throws toy after toy
Yelling ‘bowwww’ each time

January 21 (Monday)
Word: equivalent
Meaning: thing we’re still trying,
And failing, to have

January 22 (Tuesday)
Testing the product
Code gods, please let me find stuff
Before customers

January 23 (Wednesday)
Bath time has new thrill:
Blowing bubbles in water!!
Cracks up him and us

January 24 (Thursday)
Wife and I date night!
Dinner, pie, and no kid!
A delightful night

January 25 (Friday)
Government is back
World’s worst ‘vacation’ over
For so many folks

January 26 (Saturday)
New challenge unlocked
Kid pooped in swimming diaper
Poop. Was. Ev…ery…where.

January 27 (Sunday)
Mall walking with son
Each step propels him forward!
… About 3 inches

January 28 (Monday)
Appointment for son
His gross motor skills lagging
Take breath. Plan. And go.

January 29 (Tuesday)
Retirement lunch
Teammate’s last day is Thursday
Glad for him, but sad

January 30 (Wednesday)
High fever for kid
Cuddles, quick naps and lots of
Saying ‘no!’ to things

January 31 (Thursday)
Another sick day
First half dad works. Second: mom.
That’s teamwork, friendos!

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December 2018 Haiku

December 1 (Saturday)
Kid’s newest hobby
Loves putting hats on himself
Kids, huh? They’re weirdos

December 2 (Sunday)
Molar coming in
Brings excitement for parents
And pain for kiddo

December 3 (Monday)
Customer problem
It’s not COMPLETELY my fault
(But partly is … Frack)

December 4 (Tuesday)
Lights on tree in yard
This Charlie Brown nonsense is
Delightfully bad

December 5 (Wednesday)
My wife, who’s not old
(Odd statement, but key for this)
Tore disk in her neck!

December 6 (Thursday)
Tried patent at work
Turns out idea’s “obvious”
Your mom’s obvious!!!

December 7 (Friday)
Customer issues
Before leaving work found out
New one is my fault

December 8 (Saturday)
Want to go swimming
But I can’t breathe through my nose
Hmm … Could make it tough …

December 9 (Sunday)
Keep thinking of work
I HATE work thoughts on weekends
This is MY time, brain!

December 10 (Monday)
Jumping into bug
Can’t recreate the dang thing
It’s guess and check time!

December 11 (Tuesday)
Wife, kid, me … All sick
How fit are we, you may ask?
We’re … Coughing fit! (Oof.)

December 12 (Wednesday)
Christmas movie time
It’s the worst when a flick’s bad
Be good, or garbage

December 13 (Thursday)
New code version bad?
If so, could be my fault
This week’s just awful

December 14 (Friday)
Setting new records
For toilet paper used up
(Stupid runny nose)

December 15 (Saturday)
Kid goes down for nap
And you know what, so does dad
Life’s little pleasures

December 16 (Sunday)
Gift exchange with wife
Based on gifts (which I’m jazzed for)
I’m mentally twelve

December 17 (Monday)
Ok work, be kind
Customers, please don’t have things –
Aw frick, new issue

December 18 (Tuesday)
Work’s year end review
Boss keeps postponing the talk
Sure is good for stress …

December 19 (Wednesday)
Side project at work
I’ll be doing hardware stuff?
Chance to feel real … Dumb

December 20 (Thursday)
Team/Customer call
And the team fixed the issue!
Boss (and me) relieved

December 21 (Friday)
Our team still working
While others happily chat
About vacation

December 22 (Saturday)
Flying to ‘Zona
Dad vs son nap battle …
Smooth flight, here we come?

December 23 (Sunday)
Fam Christmas party
Roughly forty of us now
Sadly, just quick hi’s

December 24 (Monday)
Santa Claus is here!!
The kids go crazy for him
(Except those crying)

December 25 (Tuesday)
Watching my nephew
React to his biggest gift
Christmas is too fun

December 26 (Wednesday)
Kid wakes, won’t be calmed
Leave sister’s house, drive to folks …
This … At two am

December 27 (Thursday)
A day of cat naps
And low key activity
(And nasty cough fits)

December 28 (Friday)
Aquarium trip
Kid LOVED it – squawked at ALL fish
(They didn’t squawk back)

December 29 (Saturday)
The little waver
Charms travelers with grins, waves
I love watching it

December 30 (Sunday)
Star Wars and coffee
While the kid scores a big nap
Life is good my friends

December 31 (Monday)
It’s new years eve, all!
Maybe I’ll stay up til 10!
YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, REAL NUTS!

November 2018 Haiku

November 1 (Thursday)
Stay woke, everyone
And obviously the key
Is a good night’s rest

#dadJoke

November 2 (Friday)
It’s Friday, people!
Or ‘It’s Friday people!’ … Hm.
Impetuous group.

November 3 (Saturday)
Swam one whole mile!
Took me a long time (looooong time)
But, hey, I did it

November 4 (Sunday)
Wife, kid errand-ing
I could be so productive!
Or not. I choose … Not.

November 5 (Monday)
Son loves Graham crackers
Dipped in milk for him today
Love? No. Taste-splosion.

November 6 (Tuesday)
Election results
Not the blue wave I hoped for
But a nice blue splash

November 7 (Wednesday)
Design Thinking class
Today: creating ideas
No eval (it’s fun!)

November 8 (Thursday)
Game night with fellas
Game download took hours so …
We ACTUALLY talked!

#normallyJustYellAtGame

November 9 (Friday)
Design Thinking class
Today: just get to the point!
(Presentation work)

November 10 (Saturday)
Son scared at haircut
He holds my hand the whole time
Heart melts, and reforms

November 11 (Sunday)
It’s Veterans Day
A humble thanks to all those
Who served this country

November 12 (Monday)
Coffee and reading
Dear book, please explain toddlers
Or, you know, just mine

November 13 (Tuesday)
Candy bag at work
Take one, bite down on it and …
Huh, this is … quite old

November 14 (Wednesday)
Wandering my work
Seeking leftover candy
Miss you, sugar fix!

November 15 (Thursday)
Oh floating band-aid
You distract me from swimming
And fill me with fear

November 16 (Friday)
Cleaned up at a park
THIRTY tires! Dumpster FILLED!
‘Grats humanity

November 17 (Saturday)
Habitat build day
Worked on some sarcastic walls
… dry … walls … I’m sorry

November 18 (Sunday)
First sporting event!
Kid was absorbed watching it
So much to take in!

November 19 (Monday)
The kiddo has croup
Nightly cuddles have ensued
No sleep for mom, dad

November 20 (Tuesday)
It’s a short work week
At standup someone called it
“Who else has checked out?”

November 21 (Wednesday)
It’s a travel day
Kiddo passed out on my lap
Please, PLEASE stay sleeping

November 22 (Thursday)
Happy Thanksgiving!
May your turkey be as stuffed
As you will soon be

November 23 (Friday)
Planned to jog today
Instead had a huge breakfast
And light lunch of pie

November 24 (Saturday)
Got to see some pals!
Operation ‘move near us!’
Is now underway

November 25 (Sunday)
Long travel day home
Kiddo did lots of waving
A queen in past life?

November 26 (Monday)
Back to work today
Oh and that defect is back
Bad welcome back gift

November 27 (Tuesday)
In a class today
Teacher has classic nerd voice
(Establishes cred)

November 28 (Wednesday)
15th month check-up
“Still not walking? Hmm, ok”
Shush, doc, he’s perfect

November 29 (Thursday)
My little goofball
Is now into tilting head
World’s more fun sideways

November 30 (Friday)
Son of a biscuit
Bug fix I checked in that shipped
Doesn’t fully work

October 2018 Haiku

October 1 (Monday)
Wrote blog post for work
Corporate DumbFunnery time!
(i.e. a dull post)

October 2 (Tuesday)
Cream and sugar day
Because work coffee is gross
And sugar helps all

October 3 (Wednesday)
Wife and kid leaving
They’re seeing fam in Houston
What will dad do?! Hmm.

October 4 (Thursday)
Zany no kid night!
Did second kayak hangar
Garage, you look gooooood

October 5 (Friday)
Zany no kid night!
Bought myself an absurd gift
It’s Lego time, friends

October 6 (Saturday)
Worked out and ate out
The solo time has been nice …
But missing wife, son

October 7 (Sunday)
Wife and kid returned!
Son saw me, squawked with joy! Then …
Same joy for some car

October 8 (Monday)
Why politicians?
Because we need life to be
More disappointing

October 9 (Tuesday)
I slept through the night!!
(In a pre-fatherhood world
This wouldn’t be news)

October 10 (Wednesday)
Health screening at work
How am I such a baby
Over a pin prick

October 11 (Thursday)
Slouching, put feet up …
And then fell out of my chair
My team’s quite impressed

#graceful

October 12 (Friday)
Afternoon with son
Played in the leaves together
Fun fall memories

October 13 (Saturday)
Son’s starting to climb
Fun to watch but oh, the fear
What new trouble’s this

October 14 (Sunday)
Played in snow today!
Got to watch the munchkin crawl
And sink into snow

October 15 (Monday)
Post work walk with fam
Son says ‘gah’ (or ‘cah’?) at cars!
Does he know that word?!

October 16 (Tuesday)
Son’s going down stairs!
He loves it, too. Climbs up stairs …
Just to go down them

October 17 (Wednesday)
Customer problem
Pft, who wrote this code any …
Ah. Shoot. Wait. My bad.

October 18 (Thursday)
I’ve been working out
Now I can make my pecs move
(And hark! I have pecs!)

October 19 (Friday)
Dreamt about some code
It’s been one of those weeks, friends
So glad it’s Friday

October 20 (Saturday)
Pumpkin patch with kid
Goal: beauty fall pics … Instead:
Squinting at sun

October 21 (Sunday)
Peek-a-boo season
Covers one eye while staring
Almost, kid, almost

October 22 (Monday)
Coming back to work
Without a clue what to try
Oh hi, tough problem

October 23 (Tuesday)
Tree in the front yard
Laughs every time a leaf falls
(Raking is futile)

October 24 (Wednesday)
Windy day today
In my yard yelling at leaves
YOU … SHALL … NOT … PASS … please

October 25 (Thursday)
In public restroom
You ever tempted to shout
“Make me proud you guys!!!”

October 26 (Friday)
Mom’s on a fun trip
It’s kiddo and pops this weekend!
First step: matching tats

October 27 (Saturday)
Today’s fun includes …
Swim lessons, Halloween thing
Red Dead after bed

October 28 (Sunday)
Mom comes home today
Fun stretch of dad and son time
Now to just … Sit. Still.

October 29 (Monday)
Another Monday …
But wait, no! Today! I’ll be …!
Eh, maybe next week

October 30 (Tuesday)
Son woke too early
Dad goes swimming, comes back home
Snooze/cuddle with son

October 31 (Wednesday)
My son’s an ewok
An adorable little
Empire crusher

September 2018 Haiku

September 1 (Saturday)

Short walk, pool,and stores
A fun and go-go-go day
Good start to weekend!

September 2 (Sunday)
Hike with the kiddo!
Managed to do five miles
And give lots of waves
#heLovesToWave

September 3 (Monday)
Swam laps this morning
This despite minor back pain
(Hi, foreshadowing)

September 4 (Tuesday)

Oh dear Lord what. Why?
All movement hurts. Really. All.
Hike? Swim? Who did this?!

September 5 (Wednesday)
“Pizza party night!”
Text from wife. This means she had …
Great or stressful day
#stressOrSuccessEat

September 6 (Thursday)
Sometimes life’s stressful
That’s when you need a basement
With Legos to build

September 7 (Friday)

Joined a neat work thing
Volunteering to work more
Yep, I’m a smart one

September 8 (Saturday)

Tried another hike
Too toasty out today though
Poor kid cooked in bag

September 9 (Sunday)
Hi Doritos ‘chefs’
Son’s high-chair has weird flavor
Combos that you seek
#yum

September 10 (Monday)
My memory’s great!
*Checks phone to see what he did
…
One whole day ago*

September 11 (Tuesday)

Doing the right thing
While running toward raging hell
Brave souls remembered

September 12 (Wednesday)
Kid’s long lasting cough
Saw doc, got an inhaler
Hope it helps his cough!

September 13 (Thursday)
Cute, small instrument
Of awful, hated torture
Poor sweet little guy

September 14 (Friday)
My folks are in town
FOR A WILD WEEKEND OF …
You want take out?, or …?

September 15 (Saturday)

Son’s first swim lesson!
Wait, you’re giving instructions?!
He’s, um, a baby.

September 16 (Sunday)
Estes Park with folks
Sheesh, so many tourists here
(Yes, we’re tourists too)

September 17 (Monday)

Making faces now
Glance down, furrow brow, repeat
MAX adorable

September 18 (Tuesday)
End of release soon
Time for days and days of dull
Manual testing

September 19 (Wednesday)
Work event with beer
Then back to boring testing …
Eyes glazing in 3 …

September 20 (Thursday)

Hackathon at work
Small team, fast, frequent checkins
It was pretty fun!

September 21 (Friday)

Cousin visiting
Had dinner, sat and just talked
Sometimes simple’s best

September 22 (Saturday)

Wife and son at pool
While I go for a long hike
Miss my little fam

September 23 (Sunday)

Start day with a walk
The little guy LOVES airplanes
Spots them, points, and squawks

September 24 (Monday)

Halloween costume
My son will be an EWOK!!
So cute you could puke

September 25 (Tuesday)
Sleep’s FALLEN. APART.
Mom or dad rock, shush, cuddle …
Just makes us sleepy

September 26 (Wednesday)
Trump admin has helped
Me learn things that PISS. ME. OFF.
I’m with her, you ape.

September 27 (Thursday)
Kavanaugh hearing
It’s daytime TV drama
But real, and much worse

September 28 (Friday)
Independence starts …
Kiddo wants to feed himself
Or he’ll get FEISTY

September 29 (Saturday)

Swim lesson today
“Blow in their face and dunk them”
Dunked and … He’s nonplussed

September 30 (Sunday)

Hour and a half
Of snuggled up sleep with son
Beauty start to day

New Page!

It took me a little time to find my old daily haiku posts when I was looking for them so …

I made a page! Now all of the daily haiku can be easily found here.

Voila!

https://dumbfunnery.com/daily-haiku-ok/

August 2018 Haiku

August 1 (Wednesday)
Kiddo’s fav teachers
Leaving daycare (new pursuits)
But … But … But … My son!

August 2 (Thursday)
Day before a trip
Whiplash from frequent watch checks
Woah! It’s … 8 am.

August 3 (Friday)
Phoenix, here we are!
And the heat’s not all that bad
… in shade … in a pool

August 4 (Saturday)
Cupcakes and fam time
Early birthday for kiddo
(Oh, and for dad, too)

August 5 (Sunday)
My son and my dad
Squawked/screeched/babbled back and forth
Talking politics?

August 6 (Monday)
Flying home today
Kid slept on me the whole flight
Woke up in dad sweat

#gross #SoMuchBellySweat

August 7 (Tuesday)
Alarm set for 5 …
Wake up early! Go jog! And …
Nah. Re-set for 6.

August 8 (Wednesday)
Kid’s poor little cough
Cough. Hack. Cough. Chew some. Swallow.
Ah. Adorable.

August 9 (Thursday)
Recreate the bug
Toughest step in fixing bugs
*Think customer thoughts*

August 10 (Friday)
Watched woman swimming
We had same pace – she looked CALM!
… Perhaps … form matters …

August 11 (Saturday)
Cousins kids birthday
Kids playing … Adults chilling …
That’ll be so nice!

August 12 (Sunday)
Scheels with the kiddo
Animatronic Lincoln
CAPTIVATED him

August 13 (Monday)
IT! IS! OFFICIAL!
The boy knows at least one word!
But. It’s ‘dog,’ not dad.

August 14 (Tuesday)
Birthday gift for kid
A tiny bike looking thing
Small. Cute. Just like him.

August 15 (Wednesday)
You hear ‘Canada’
You think nice, friendly. Add ‘goose’?
Wrong move. Game over.

August 16 (Thursday)
Amazing finding
Fake coughing cracks the kid up
*Fake coughing ensues*

August 17 (Friday)
Eye doc for the kid
They have such fancy gadgets!
Dug the tech display

August 18 (Saturday)
Kid and I to pool
Tons of noise, kids splashing him …
And yet it went well!

#ThingsThatExciteMeTheseDays

August 19 (Sunday)
Hanging kayak rack
Let’s dance, old neglected foe!
… Annnnnnd I hung it wrong

August 20 (Monday)
To balance the day
Wife and son got me donuts
Monday … Neutralized!!

August 21 (Tuesday)
Water aerobics
Class if all elderly folks
Cracking dirty jokes

August 22 (Wednesday)
Unhappy sleeper
Put kid next to me in bed
Slept great after that

#flattered #tired #LearnToSleepPlease

August 23 (Thursday)
Saw a hummingbird!
Or as God likes to call them
Nature’s crack/cocaine

August 24 (Friday)
FRIDAY! Heck yeah, man!
Can’t wait to go out and … Nah.
I’m beat. When’s bedtime?

August 25 (Saturday)
Grandparents arrive
They come bearing birthday gifts,
Hugs, kisses, and awwwws

August 26 (Sunday)
Kid’s birthday party
A distractible eater*
*Cupcake exception

August 27 (Monday)
Took the day off work
Hanging with wife, kid, wife’s folks
Soaking up the day

August 28 (Tuesday)
Met to get feedback
Enjoyed learning why I failed …
Kudos, reviewer!

August 29 (Wednesday)
Speech about taxes
Taxes!? What was I thinking?
Ambitious self? FOOL!

August 30 (Thursday)
Open house today
“Please join our Toastmasters club!”
Exclaimed to … no guests.

August 31 (Friday)
Picnic with wife, kid
Hope mac & cheese covered clothes
Work appropriate

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