The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haiku’

November 2018 Haiku

November 1 (Thursday)
Stay woke, everyone
And obviously the key
Is a good night’s rest

#dadJoke

November 2 (Friday)
It’s Friday, people!
Or ‘It’s Friday people!’ … Hm.
Impetuous group.

November 3 (Saturday)
Swam one whole mile!
Took me a long time (looooong time)
But, hey, I did it

November 4 (Sunday)
Wife, kid errand-ing
I could be so productive!
Or not. I choose … Not.

November 5 (Monday)
Son loves Graham crackers
Dipped in milk for him today
Love? No. Taste-splosion.

November 6 (Tuesday)
Election results
Not the blue wave I hoped for
But a nice blue splash

November 7 (Wednesday)
Design Thinking class
Today: creating ideas
No eval (it’s fun!)

November 8 (Thursday)
Game night with fellas
Game download took hours so …
We ACTUALLY talked!

#normallyJustYellAtGame

November 9 (Friday)
Design Thinking class
Today: just get to the point!
(Presentation work)

November 10 (Saturday)
Son scared at haircut
He holds my hand the whole time
Heart melts, and reforms

November 11 (Sunday)
It’s Veterans Day
A humble thanks to all those
Who served this country

November 12 (Monday)
Coffee and reading
Dear book, please explain toddlers
Or, you know, just mine

November 13 (Tuesday)
Candy bag at work
Take one, bite down on it and …
Huh, this is … quite old

November 14 (Wednesday)
Wandering my work
Seeking leftover candy
Miss you, sugar fix!

November 15 (Thursday)
Oh floating band-aid
You distract me from swimming
And fill me with fear

November 16 (Friday)
Cleaned up at a park
THIRTY tires! Dumpster FILLED!
‘Grats humanity

November 17 (Saturday)
Habitat build day
Worked on some sarcastic walls
… dry … walls … I’m sorry

November 18 (Sunday)
First sporting event!
Kid was absorbed watching it
So much to take in!

November 19 (Monday)
The kiddo has croup
Nightly cuddles have ensued
No sleep for mom, dad

November 20 (Tuesday)
It’s a short work week
At standup someone called it
“Who else has checked out?”

November 21 (Wednesday)
It’s a travel day
Kiddo passed out on my lap
Please, PLEASE stay sleeping

November 22 (Thursday)
Happy Thanksgiving!
May your turkey be as stuffed
As you will soon be

November 23 (Friday)
Planned to jog today
Instead had a huge breakfast
And light lunch of pie

November 24 (Saturday)
Got to see some pals!
Operation ‘move near us!’
Is now underway

November 25 (Sunday)
Long travel day home
Kiddo did lots of waving
A queen in past life?

November 26 (Monday)
Back to work today
Oh and that defect is back
Bad welcome back gift

November 27 (Tuesday)
In a class today
Teacher has classic nerd voice
(Establishes cred)

November 28 (Wednesday)
15th month check-up
“Still not walking? Hmm, ok”
Shush, doc, he’s perfect

November 29 (Thursday)
My little goofball
Is now into tilting head
World’s more fun sideways

November 30 (Friday)
Son of a biscuit
Bug fix I checked in that shipped
Doesn’t fully work

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October 2018 Haiku

October 1 (Monday)
Wrote blog post for work
Corporate DumbFunnery time!
(i.e. a dull post)

October 2 (Tuesday)
Cream and sugar day
Because work coffee is gross
And sugar helps all

October 3 (Wednesday)
Wife and kid leaving
They’re seeing fam in Houston
What will dad do?! Hmm.

October 4 (Thursday)
Zany no kid night!
Did second kayak hangar
Garage, you look gooooood

October 5 (Friday)
Zany no kid night!
Bought myself an absurd gift
It’s Lego time, friends

October 6 (Saturday)
Worked out and ate out
The solo time has been nice …
But missing wife, son

October 7 (Sunday)
Wife and kid returned!
Son saw me, squawked with joy! Then …
Same joy for some car

October 8 (Monday)
Why politicians?
Because we need life to be
More disappointing

October 9 (Tuesday)
I slept through the night!!
(In a pre-fatherhood world
This wouldn’t be news)

October 10 (Wednesday)
Health screening at work
How am I such a baby
Over a pin prick

October 11 (Thursday)
Slouching, put feet up …
And then fell out of my chair
My team’s quite impressed

#graceful

October 12 (Friday)
Afternoon with son
Played in the leaves together
Fun fall memories

October 13 (Saturday)
Son’s starting to climb
Fun to watch but oh, the fear
What new trouble’s this

October 14 (Sunday)
Played in snow today!
Got to watch the munchkin crawl
And sink into snow

October 15 (Monday)
Post work walk with fam
Son says ‘gah’ (or ‘cah’?) at cars!
Does he know that word?!

October 16 (Tuesday)
Son’s going down stairs!
He loves it, too. Climbs up stairs …
Just to go down them

October 17 (Wednesday)
Customer problem
Pft, who wrote this code any …
Ah. Shoot. Wait. My bad.

October 18 (Thursday)
I’ve been working out
Now I can make my pecs move
(And hark! I have pecs!)

October 19 (Friday)
Dreamt about some code
It’s been one of those weeks, friends
So glad it’s Friday

October 20 (Saturday)
Pumpkin patch with kid
Goal: beauty fall pics … Instead:
Squinting at sun

October 21 (Sunday)
Peek-a-boo season
Covers one eye while staring
Almost, kid, almost

October 22 (Monday)
Coming back to work
Without a clue what to try
Oh hi, tough problem

October 23 (Tuesday)
Tree in the front yard
Laughs every time a leaf falls
(Raking is futile)

October 24 (Wednesday)
Windy day today
In my yard yelling at leaves
YOU … SHALL … NOT … PASS … please

October 25 (Thursday)
In public restroom
You ever tempted to shout
“Make me proud you guys!!!”

October 26 (Friday)
Mom’s on a fun trip
It’s kiddo and pops this weekend!
First step: matching tats

October 27 (Saturday)
Today’s fun includes …
Swim lessons, Halloween thing
Red Dead after bed

October 28 (Sunday)
Mom comes home today
Fun stretch of dad and son time
Now to just … Sit. Still.

October 29 (Monday)
Another Monday …
But wait, no! Today! I’ll be …!
Eh, maybe next week

October 30 (Tuesday)
Son woke too early
Dad goes swimming, comes back home
Snooze/cuddle with son

October 31 (Wednesday)
My son’s an ewok
An adorable little
Empire crusher

September 2018 Haiku

September 1 (Saturday)

Short walk, pool,and stores
A fun and go-go-go day
Good start to weekend!

September 2 (Sunday)
Hike with the kiddo!
Managed to do five miles
And give lots of waves
#heLovesToWave

September 3 (Monday)
Swam laps this morning
This despite minor back pain
(Hi, foreshadowing)

September 4 (Tuesday)

Oh dear Lord what. Why?
All movement hurts. Really. All.
Hike? Swim? Who did this?!

September 5 (Wednesday)
“Pizza party night!”
Text from wife. This means she had …
Great or stressful day
#stressOrSuccessEat

September 6 (Thursday)
Sometimes life’s stressful
That’s when you need a basement
With Legos to build

September 7 (Friday)

Joined a neat work thing
Volunteering to work more
Yep, I’m a smart one

September 8 (Saturday)

Tried another hike
Too toasty out today though
Poor kid cooked in bag

September 9 (Sunday)
Hi Doritos ‘chefs’
Son’s high-chair has weird flavor
Combos that you seek
#yum

September 10 (Monday)
My memory’s great!
*Checks phone to see what he did
…
One whole day ago*

September 11 (Tuesday)

Doing the right thing
While running toward raging hell
Brave souls remembered

September 12 (Wednesday)
Kid’s long lasting cough
Saw doc, got an inhaler
Hope it helps his cough!

September 13 (Thursday)
Cute, small instrument
Of awful, hated torture
Poor sweet little guy

September 14 (Friday)
My folks are in town
FOR A WILD WEEKEND OF …
You want take out?, or …?

September 15 (Saturday)

Son’s first swim lesson!
Wait, you’re giving instructions?!
He’s, um, a baby.

September 16 (Sunday)
Estes Park with folks
Sheesh, so many tourists here
(Yes, we’re tourists too)

September 17 (Monday)

Making faces now
Glance down, furrow brow, repeat
MAX adorable

September 18 (Tuesday)
End of release soon
Time for days and days of dull
Manual testing

September 19 (Wednesday)
Work event with beer
Then back to boring testing …
Eyes glazing in 3 …

September 20 (Thursday)

Hackathon at work
Small team, fast, frequent checkins
It was pretty fun!

September 21 (Friday)

Cousin visiting
Had dinner, sat and just talked
Sometimes simple’s best

September 22 (Saturday)

Wife and son at pool
While I go for a long hike
Miss my little fam

September 23 (Sunday)

Start day with a walk
The little guy LOVES airplanes
Spots them, points, and squawks

September 24 (Monday)

Halloween costume
My son will be an EWOK!!
So cute you could puke

September 25 (Tuesday)
Sleep’s FALLEN. APART.
Mom or dad rock, shush, cuddle …
Just makes us sleepy

September 26 (Wednesday)
Trump admin has helped
Me learn things that PISS. ME. OFF.
I’m with her, you ape.

September 27 (Thursday)
Kavanaugh hearing
It’s daytime TV drama
But real, and much worse

September 28 (Friday)
Independence starts …
Kiddo wants to feed himself
Or he’ll get FEISTY

September 29 (Saturday)

Swim lesson today
“Blow in their face and dunk them”
Dunked and … He’s nonplussed

September 30 (Sunday)

Hour and a half
Of snuggled up sleep with son
Beauty start to day

New Page!

It took me a little time to find my old daily haiku posts when I was looking for them so …

I made a page! Now all of the daily haiku can be easily found here.

Voila!

https://dumbfunnery.com/daily-haiku-ok/

August 2018 Haiku

August 1 (Wednesday)
Kiddo’s fav teachers
Leaving daycare (new pursuits)
But … But … But … My son!

August 2 (Thursday)
Day before a trip
Whiplash from frequent watch checks
Woah! It’s … 8 am.

August 3 (Friday)
Phoenix, here we are!
And the heat’s not all that bad
… in shade … in a pool

August 4 (Saturday)
Cupcakes and fam time
Early birthday for kiddo
(Oh, and for dad, too)

August 5 (Sunday)
My son and my dad
Squawked/screeched/babbled back and forth
Talking politics?

August 6 (Monday)
Flying home today
Kid slept on me the whole flight
Woke up in dad sweat

#gross #SoMuchBellySweat

August 7 (Tuesday)
Alarm set for 5 …
Wake up early! Go jog! And …
Nah. Re-set for 6.

August 8 (Wednesday)
Kid’s poor little cough
Cough. Hack. Cough. Chew some. Swallow.
Ah. Adorable.

August 9 (Thursday)
Recreate the bug
Toughest step in fixing bugs
*Think customer thoughts*

August 10 (Friday)
Watched woman swimming
We had same pace – she looked CALM!
… Perhaps … form matters …

August 11 (Saturday)
Cousins kids birthday
Kids playing … Adults chilling …
That’ll be so nice!

August 12 (Sunday)
Scheels with the kiddo
Animatronic Lincoln
CAPTIVATED him

August 13 (Monday)
IT! IS! OFFICIAL!
The boy knows at least one word!
But. It’s ‘dog,’ not dad.

August 14 (Tuesday)
Birthday gift for kid
A tiny bike looking thing
Small. Cute. Just like him.

August 15 (Wednesday)
You hear ‘Canada’
You think nice, friendly. Add ‘goose’?
Wrong move. Game over.

August 16 (Thursday)
Amazing finding
Fake coughing cracks the kid up
*Fake coughing ensues*

August 17 (Friday)
Eye doc for the kid
They have such fancy gadgets!
Dug the tech display

August 18 (Saturday)
Kid and I to pool
Tons of noise, kids splashing him …
And yet it went well!

#ThingsThatExciteMeTheseDays

August 19 (Sunday)
Hanging kayak rack
Let’s dance, old neglected foe!
… Annnnnnd I hung it wrong

August 20 (Monday)
To balance the day
Wife and son got me donuts
Monday … Neutralized!!

August 21 (Tuesday)
Water aerobics
Class if all elderly folks
Cracking dirty jokes

August 22 (Wednesday)
Unhappy sleeper
Put kid next to me in bed
Slept great after that

#flattered #tired #LearnToSleepPlease

August 23 (Thursday)
Saw a hummingbird!
Or as God likes to call them
Nature’s crack/cocaine

August 24 (Friday)
FRIDAY! Heck yeah, man!
Can’t wait to go out and … Nah.
I’m beat. When’s bedtime?

August 25 (Saturday)
Grandparents arrive
They come bearing birthday gifts,
Hugs, kisses, and awwwws

August 26 (Sunday)
Kid’s birthday party
A distractible eater*
*Cupcake exception

August 27 (Monday)
Took the day off work
Hanging with wife, kid, wife’s folks
Soaking up the day

August 28 (Tuesday)
Met to get feedback
Enjoyed learning why I failed …
Kudos, reviewer!

August 29 (Wednesday)
Speech about taxes
Taxes!? What was I thinking?
Ambitious self? FOOL!

August 30 (Thursday)
Open house today
“Please join our Toastmasters club!”
Exclaimed to … no guests.

August 31 (Friday)
Picnic with wife, kid
Hope mac & cheese covered clothes
Work appropriate

One Year Later!

Ladies and gentlemen, the kiddo has made it to one year of life! And, mom and dad have too! Phew.

Let’s take a look back (read: lazy post) … here are my posts around the kiddo’s arrival, and all of the daily haiku I’ve been doing.

(Note: I recently looked back on these, and it made me appreciate that I have been doing the daily haiku.)

 

The Big Arrival

The Kiddo – Part I – Watership Down

The Kiddo – Part II – Game Day

The Kiddo – Part III – Chez NICU

 

Monthly Posts

Is the Fog Beginning to Lift? (3 Months)

4 Months and Counting

The Carousel of New Parenthood (5 months)

Month 6, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Short Nap

Month 7, Or Oh the Places You’ll Go (Developmentally)

Month 8, Or Get Up, Come On Get Down With the Sickness

Month 9 or Crawlington Station

Month 10, or Stand Up And Make Your Voice Heard!

Month 11, or OHHH! MY EYE!!!!

 

Haiku

January 2017 Haiku

February 2017 Haiku

March 2017 Haiku

April 2017 Haiku

May 2017 Haiku

June 2017 Haiku

July 2017 Haiku

August 2017 Haiku

September 2017 Haiku

October 2017 Haiku

November 2017 Haiku

December 2017 Haiku

January 2018 Haiku

February 2018 Haiku

March 2018 Haiku

April 2018 Haiku

May 2018 Haiku

June 2018 Haiku

July 2018 Haiku

 

July 2018 Haiku

July 1 (Sunday)
Wife leaves tomorrow
And taking the kid with her
It’s zany dad time!

July 2 (Monday)
Zany dad day 1:
Post work: mowed lawn, did chores
Awwww hell yea, what up

July 3 (Tuesday)
Zany dad day 2:
Woke up early to swim laps
Schooled by ten year olds

July 4 (Wednesday)
Flying to Houston
“I haven’t seen you in years!”
NO TIME – WHERE’S MY SON!

#itHadBeenAWholeTwoDays

July 5 (Thursday)
Son’s first day at beach
Sat in surf playing with sand
Pasty, happy kid

July 6 (Friday)
Met up with some friends
Who also now have a babe!
Oh how life changes

July 7 (Saturday)
Mother-in-law hosts
Party to show off grandson
He’s game … Til naptime

July 8 (Sunday)
Flying home today
Peek-a-boos well with others
I serve as rock wall

#littleClimber

July 9 (Monday)
It’s morning. Kid on lap.
Spazzy arm movement gets me –
Cornea SCRATCHED

July 10 (Tuesday)
Big day for dad, son
Son gets ear tubes put in (yay!)
Eye doc says ‘still … BAD’

July 11 (Wednesday)
No eye pain today!!!
Sis and her fam are in town …
I’m world’s worst host

July 12 (Thursday)
Back at work today!
Eye covered with hand, shades on
I’m productive? Ish?

July 13 (Friday)
Home away from home
Not work – but the eye doctor’s
Eye getting better!

July 14 (Saturday)
If reading, TV
Bother eyes … What do you do?
Sensible bedtime!

July 15 (Sunday)
Quiet house again
Sister’s visit came and went
In blink of an … eye

#seeWhatDidThere

July 16 (Monday)
Sippy cup progress
Kiddo gets tilting cup up!
(Like chugging frat boy)

July 17 (Tuesday)
Band-aid contact OUT!
This doc lacks first doc’s soft touch
Felt like eye poked out

July 18 (Wednesday)
Latest code release
Keeps revealing new problems
No jokes. Just plain stinks.

July 19 (Thursday)
Hey sports fans, great news!
Now you can sport your sport drink
Tastes ‘eh,’ and sporty!

July 20 (Friday)
New video game
I’d forgotten what a fun
Time suck these can be

July 21 (Saturday)
Hello Saturday
Sunday’s less responsible
(And more fun) brother

July 22 (Sunday)
First jog after break
Come on body, you like this!
… I. Said. YOU. LIKE. THIS.

July 23 (Monday)
A kid named Monday
You think he’d be boring, right?
Nope! She’s a nudist.

July 24 (Tuesday)
Went to the eye doc
He gave me swimming advice!
(Also talked eye stuff)

July 25 (Wednesday)
Finished watching Glow
Keep up the good work, Netflix!
(When’s season 3 out?)

July 26 (Thursday)
Nuclear Pregnancy
Act 1, Scene 1: “Look at you!
“Such joy, you’re glowing!”

July 27 (Friday)
Kid learned to sit down!
(Used to stand up, think ‘oh no!’
Then squawk angrily)

July 28 (Saturday)
Went to restaurant
And ordered food for kiddo!!
(First time doing that)

July 29 (Sunday)
Playing game with son
Sorta hide/chase/peek-a-boo
Makes me so happy

July 30 (Monday)
Why aren’t scientists
Making advanced octopi
That give massages

July 31 (Tuesday)
How bout a crime show
It’s kids who sing, and do crime
And it’s called ‘Crime Bop’

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