June 2018 Haiku
June 1 (Friday)
With Trump I have learned
Opposite meditation
Deep breath. SCREAM. Deep breath.
June 2 (Saturday)
The heart soars with love
… As son snacks me in the face
… While shouting nonsense
June 3 (Sunday)
Kid’s first trip to pool!
What fun, huh?! Please? Darling? Fun?
…He was not a fan
June 4 (Monday)
Restaurant idea
‘Everything Tastes Like Chicken’
… Only serve cat food
June 5 (Tuesday)
Invited to lunch
“I’m trying to save money”
Offered coupon … What.
June 6 (Wednesday)
It’s Wednesday, right guys?
More like … When’s this day over!
(I apologize)
June 7 (Thursday)
Kid wants to stand. NOW.
Seems to move in slow motion …
Falls at super speed
June 8 (Friday)
Old men and babies
They walk leading with their guts
And love being nude
June 9 (Saturday)
It’s dad’s time to shine
Cutting last night time feeding
No milk here, buddy
June 10 (Sunday)
Dad handled night time
Mom and kid woke up early
And got doughnuts. Score.
June 11 (Monday)
The kid was cough-y
So now dad needs some coffee!
… Lord I’m so tired
June 12 (Tuesday)
Is Jersey Mike’s good?
Yes. Do they make snails look fast?
Un…Doubt…Ed…Ly…So
June 13 (Wednesday)
You’ve just died. God’s real.
Turns out God LOVES Mountain Dew.
How freaked out are you?
June 14 (Thursday)
I do love cuddles
Even if it’s one am
Which is, frankly, nuts
June 15 (Friday)
Two bad bugs are found
In cliché coding fashion
It’s last day of tests
June 16 (Saturday)
Saw Solo today
Star Wars fans are too whiny
They’re movies. Enjoy.
June 17 (Sunday)
Happy Father’s Day
One whole parent, one tenth the
Expectations. DADS!
June 18 (Monday)
Wore new socks today
They’re polka dot, but instead
Of dots … It’s son’s face
June 19 (Tuesday)
Hi gross leftovers.
Yes you’re bland and kinda gross
But I’m cheap. So there.
June 20 (Wednesday)
It’s not a good thing
When reading the news makes you
Want to cry or scream
June 21 (Thursday)
Pres playing a game
It’s him against common sense
Everyone’s losing
June 22 (Friday)
So, convertibles …
Think first one was a mistake?
“Ohhhhhh shoot … Eh, ship it.”
June 23 (Saturday)
First haircut today
Old man hairs hung over ears
Are no more – bye friends
June 24 (Sunday)
My watch tracks my steps
And tells me trends like, ‘Sundays:
‘Did your legs fall off?’
June 25 (Monday)
Boss’s boss in town
Effort to dress to impress:
Wore my nicest shorts
June 26 (Tuesday)
If World Cup was real
What kind of cup would it be?
Probably sippy
June 27 (Wednesday)
Kiddo wakes early
The alarm clock on my phone
Has felt neglected
June 28 (Thursday)
KID SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT
A RARE AND WONDERFUL TREAT!
… It was pretty nice
June 29 (Friday)
xbox with some pals
“How’s the new – aw frick I died! –
House? All unpacked now?”
June 30 (Saturday)
To do list and I
Have an odd relationship
There’s love and loathing
DumbFunnery 