Friday is my birthday, but I’ll be heading home to see my family on Thursday night – so the Zombie decided to throw me a birthday celebration today.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a zombie birthday party – but I wouldn’t recommend it. Well, that’s unfair – maybe it’s just my roommate that is really weird. But, apparently, the Zombie thinks the crème de la crème of parties is a 6th grade school dance.
My apartment had six balloons, bad music, and a math teacher (who looked like he was frightened for his life) standing in the corner of my kitchen. As soon as I walked in my apartment I knew it was a 6th grade dance – because I was suddenly very sure I’d never kiss a girl, and I remembered that Miss Whitehead is a big dumb lame-head.
It was incredibly weird. The only good part was when I approached the Zombie to thank him for the party, the math teacher said (out of habit I guess), “balloon-width apart, please.”