The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

The Loofah, and Me

Recently I bought a loofah, and it has changed a lot of things for me. “A loofah?,” you might be saying, “you never seemed distant to me!”

After a while I would finally get your joke. A play on the word “aloof,” and I would respect you less.

Moving on.

The loofah has changed a lot of things in my life. My finances have improved, I’m eating healthier, I think I look great, and most importantly, my personal relationships have developed more as a result. I find that after using the loofah while I shower that I can relate to people much better!

I’m almost ashamed to admit the conversation I had with a friend of mine just a few weeks ago. We’ll call my friend Jerry. Not for no reason, too, it’s because his name is Jerry.

Jerry: “Brad, they’re going to foreclose on my house.”
Me: “Jerry. That is news. This is an update to me.”

See what I did there? I wasn’t sure what he was feeling so I couldn’t guess what emotion I should have. I just limited myself to statements! With my loofah’d hindsight, I can see that he was probably SAD, or HUNGRY. Two key emotions for any human.

Jerry: “I’m so depressed.”
Me: “Well, let’s inflate you! With french fries!”
Jerry: “….Um. I guess I could go for a shake?”

Thankfully I stumbled into just the right thing to say. Phew!

I won’t have to just stumble my way into relating to people now! No, sir! Not with the loofah in my life!

Comments on: "The Loofah, and Me" (1)

  1. Just wait till you discover emery boards. The loofah of the finger world. You’ll be all, I don’t have to make friends, cause they make themselves for me.

    Also, you didn’t seem distant to me. Respect me less dang it!

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