The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

DumbFunnery Resume

@dumbfunnery (Twitter)


Make that dollar dollar bill by writing the same kind of nonsense I currently write for free. This doesn’t make sense, it makes DOLLARS – just give me the money and laugh at my jokes. (Please.)


  • Square-danced twice in towns you’ve never heard of

  • Self-taught for the most part

  • Been called “unbelievable” three times for various reasons

  • GPA: Private (But trust me it’s good)


Writing Letters to Ellen DeGeneres
Self-Appointed Mission from Myself
September 2010 – Present

  • Championing the revival of the USPS via weekly postcards

  • Entertains postal workers with well-articulated drivel

  • Unrelenting pursuit of some time on the chair, chit-chatting with Miss Ellen

  • Maintains a record of the crazy which is available at:

Poet Laureate of Three Apartments (Units, not Complexes)
Family of “poets” has led to this genetic and well-groomed “gift”
October 2009 – Present

  • Arranged words to make phrases that end in words that rhyme

  • Inspired by friends and Ogden Nash

Champion of YouTube
Director, Producer, Editor, and Star
December 2009 – Present

  • Enlisted the help of a dedicated team composed largely of myself

  • Motivated by boredom and an ability to amuse myself greatly

  • Helping to prove that people really do put just about anything on the Internet these days

Honing My Self-Imposed Awkward State of Being Which is Source Material
Living the Dream, Man, Just Living the Dream
August 1984 – Present

  • Befriended numerous people while living in: North Carolina, Oregon, Korea, Alaska, Kansas, New York, Georgia, Arizona, Texas (Dallas), California, Texas (Houston) (Go Army Brats!)

  • Produced any number of imaginary versions of myself which are at once super human in skills, intelligence, looks, charm, charisma, and humility


Too many to name. Ask me about it in person sometime.


  • Comment from anonymous online website visitor, “Mom,” made the bold claim that is the greatest place on the internet

  • Descriptions of my dancing range from being told I’m an amazing dancer, to looking like a “caterpillar”

  • Via my Twitter account (@DumbFunnery) I corresponded with a local celebrity (I made a joke to a local news anchor’s account, he responded with an “LOL”)

Comments on: "DumbFunnery Resume" (3)

  1. Is this your resume or the blog’s resume? The latter is actually a great idea. I already have a resume page on my blog but it’s for people. Now I’m thinking about changing it to the resume of my blog. Good idea!

    • It is the blog’s resume … And thanks! Glad you liked the post!

      You’ll have to reply with the link if you get that set up so I can make sure to check it out!

      • You’re welcome! I’ll be sure to do that. I will do mines a little different and do aspirations for i got for mines. I will do that.

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