The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Fortunes:

  • Shhhh. This moment is for us.
  • Fortune will smile on you. Like a baby’s smile. Yeah, a gassy baby’s smile.
  • You smell really good when you think you’re alone.
  • Dale! It was Dale!? That is classic.
  • NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU JUST ATE MY HOME!
  • Am I the only one who is concerned that Mickey Mouse is an axe murderer? We can’t just let him … sweep … that murder under the rug.

Ok, well, that’s all I’ve got! Come back later when my future self is more ambitious than my present self and actually makes some fortune cookies! I will record the endeavor and put the shenanigans on the internet!

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