The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Sometimes life is tough. I won’t give any examples because it is easy enough to know what I mean.

Sometimes, life is wonderful. Good news comes your way and makes you forget where you are. All you know is your smile and how great life is because life, at that moment, is just that bit of amazing news.

What I’m wondering is – how can announcements of good news be brought back to the realm of reality? What way could good news be delivered so that, instead of having to keep yourself from jumping with joy, you simply say, “…uh…cool…thanks?”

Let’s look at some examples …

  1. You could receive the news that you and your spouse, after trying very hard, are going to have a baby!!! … But the news is delivered by Richard Simmons, suspended from a rope, hanging outside your bedroom window.
  2. Your dream job is yours – all that work, all that preparation – it’s finally your day and you’re absolutely sure you’re going to OWN that job. This news delivered by an animatronic figure of a child, but with a 360 degree rotating head that finished sentences with a guttural cry to the cosmos rather than the traditional pause implying a period.
  3. You have won the lottery!!, this news is stapled to the back of a now (how would you like being stapled) angry lioness who has just charged through your front door. Time to pause “Scandal”, put aside your leftover pasta, and run for your life to the nearest place to claim your winnings.

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