The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

California Regrets

I am, for the first time, an uncle to a teenager. And I regret to inform you all that I didn’t take advantage of this.

Why didn’t I ask annoying, lame, creepy uncle questions? Why didn’t I try to high five her randomly and then pause to say, “wait, is high fiving still popular? Do kids still do that?I saw kids bumping fists on TV, does that have anything to do with sexting?”

The key to being a creepy, lame, weird uncle is knowing just enough to really get things wrong. You need to know at least enough pop culture to be able to reference things incorrectly.

“Hey I like your hat! Talk about Gangnam Style!”

How could that not have caused a look of pain? WHY didn’t I seize this opportunity!?

It also helps to know some of the latest music, so that you can incorrectly identify whatever is on the radio at some public place like a mall or theme park.

“Woah, I like this Kesha tune! She really knows Trouble am I right? Say did you see the YouTube video with her and the goat? That was funny. Hardly a Teenage Dream if you ask me!”

I urge you, uncles and aunts and parents of the world, be lame. It’s funny.

If you can't tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement ... But I couldn't find a Lego head that conveyed that.

If you can’t tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement … But I couldn’t find a Lego head that conveyed that.

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Comments on: "California Regrets" (1)

  1. I seem to come by it naturally with my grand kids,nieces and nephews. My granddaughter usually just shakes her head and says “you know you’re an idiot, right?”

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