The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘kesha’

California Regrets

I am, for the first time, an uncle to a teenager. And I regret to inform you all that I didn’t take advantage of this.

Why didn’t I ask annoying, lame, creepy uncle questions? Why didn’t I try to high five her randomly and then pause to say, “wait, is high fiving still popular? Do kids still do that?I saw kids bumping fists on TV, does that have anything to do with sexting?”

The key to being a creepy, lame, weird uncle is knowing just enough to really get things wrong. You need to know at least enough pop culture to be able to reference things incorrectly.

“Hey I like your hat! Talk about Gangnam Style!”

How could that not have caused a look of pain? WHY didn’t I seize this opportunity!?

It also helps to know some of the latest music, so that you can incorrectly identify whatever is on the radio at some public place like a mall or theme park.

“Woah, I like this Kesha tune! She really knows Trouble am I right? Say did you see the YouTube video with her and the goat? That was funny. Hardly a Teenage Dream if you ask me!”

I urge you, uncles and aunts and parents of the world, be lame. It’s funny.

If you can't tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement ... But I couldn't find a Lego head that conveyed that.

If you can’t tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement … But I couldn’t find a Lego head that conveyed that.

If I Married a Celebrity – Baby Names

Tracy Morgan and I

Twist Morgan
Shout Morgan

(So we could yell Twist and Shout at the mall, and not just randomly.)

Alicia Silverstone and I

Loch Ness Silverstone
Roped Off Silverstone
For the Love of God NOTICE ME Silverstone

(What’s she been up to lately? Seriously.)

Yogi Bear and I

Yogi Bear, Jr.

(He’s totally the type to have a Junior.)

Ke$ha and I

Lis@
B()B
Jos&ph

(Because, you know, we’d want our kids to be ridiculed.)

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