The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Video Game Anger Scale

1. Playing a First Person Shooter (FPS) game online

Curse word every 25 seconds

You spawn and then get crushed by someone much better than you after you made the mistake of I don’t know … having signed into the game at all, I guess


2. Playing a sports game against the PC

Curse word every 4 minutes

You’ll do moderately well, then get too aggressive, and boom, the anger strikes

It is amazing, in a bad way (as in how old am I emotionally?) how angry I get when I am running at the opposing team’s quarterback and fly right by him … missing a golden opportunity


3. Playing Dark Souls or WoW

Curse tirade every 15 minutes

I never played WoW so this is a guess … But you do a lot of repetitive things, fighting guys you’ve already fought so you can handle them … Then here we go boss time and the curse words rain down

This one is maybe at the same level as a sports game because when the cursing DOES happen, it happens with gusto

This is similar to old NES or SNES games where you would get stuck on a level. You’d have to repeat all the same motions over and over til you got to that one part and … oh you’ve got to be kidding me I TOTALLY HIT THE JUMP BUTTON!!!


4. Playing a First Person Shooter in the story mode

Curse every 30 minutes

It doesn’t really matter, it seems like a lot of video games re-spawn you all the time so you just run back in guns a-blazing and enjoy knowing that it’s not some 12 year old punk crushing you. Or any age punk, because it’s an artificial intelligence.


5. Playing a game on your phone

Cursing … never?

I don’t know what it is, but if I lose at a game on my phone it doesn’t matter. Does the size of the screen keep me from getting frustrated? Is it that they are tiny little characters? Who knows, but keep up the good work non-anger-inducing phone games!

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