The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Not Really a Car Guy

I am taking my car in to be looked at soon and as someone who knows little to nothing about cars I have a feeling I will look like an idiot. (In the words of Mitch Hedburg: “I know a lot about cars. I can can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.”)

Here are a few possible conversational snippits:

Mechanic: And when’s the last time you got your tires rotated?
Me: Well … On the drive in here? I mean, every time I drive they get rotated, right?


Me: I am not sure why I’m here really … I mean, my car is an automatic, shouldn’t it be taking care of all this stuff by itself?


Mechanic: We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going to –
Me: Let me guess, give my car some pasta?
Mechanic: …What?
Me: I mean, why else would it need a carb-orator unless it eats a lot of carbs?! Huh? Amiright?
Mechanic: …
Me: Because it’s like a refrigerator but just for carbs.
Mechanic: Yeah …
Me: So … that’s funny …
Mechanic: … Right. We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going (etc, etc, stuff I don’t understand)

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