DumbFunnery

This? It’s just my hand. Oh, wait, you’re pointing to that? That shiny thing? Well, that’s my wedding band!

No, not a musical band that is so tiny you can’t see them with your naked eye. It’s the ring. Why did I call it a band if it’s not music? I don’t know …

But come on, you’re missing the point. It’s my wedding ring band.

What’s a ring band? Umm … Sounds like a band that plays while standing in the shape of a circle at all their concerts? Why do you ask about – Oh.

Ok. Let’s try again. This? It’s my wedding ring!

Yeah, that’s right, I’m married! A married man! I say things like wife and husband and other married people things!

Yes indeed, I guess you could say I have a deeper appreciation for humanity now. I understand things better. I can empathize while planning for a sound foundation for the future. Yessirree, all this because of this magical ring!

Oh it doesn’t suddenly make me more intelligent? More compassionate? More communicative? Well, I beg to differ … Exhibit A, Why did my car insurance payment suddenly drop so dramatically? Hmmm?

That’s right, folks, this ring has changed me overnight! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make tired jokes with my co-workers about gender-stereotype roles in a marriage.