The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Mark Ruffalo

When you were a kid, and you were out playing, maybe like by yourself, did a dog ever come up to you and bark once? A single bark? And you thought, ‘oh wow, a talking dog! You’re almost there buddy, finish saying my last name!’


Jean-Claude Van Damme

Do you ever watch old movies of yourself doing cool karate stuff and you can’t help but say out loud, maybe quietly to yourself, “Jean-Claude Van Daaaaaaaamme”?


Pat Sajak

Would you like to be co-founder of a towing company called “Just Sajak”? Also, do you age like a normal human? Or did you and the crew that films Wheel of Fortune film every episode 30 years ago and just predict future fashion trends incredibly well and have the guests dress up in “futuristic outfits” like non-poofy hairdos?


Tom Brady

Hey, those are nice pants, are they … cheater pants!? Gotcha!


Martin Freeman

If scientists found a way to shrink people down to like toy size, like Indian in the Cupboard kinda toy size, and clone people, do you think you’d be cool with me making a tiny clone of you that just hangs out on my desk at work and makes little British faces whenever my coworkers are talking nonsense to me? It’d really brighten my day. Think it over.

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