The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Last Words

“Hey, welcome to the pearly gates.”

“Oh awesome! Does that mean … I made it?”

“Well, you are here.”

“No I mean like … Am I in? Did I make it into heaven?!”


“Probably!? What’s that mean – probably?”

“You’re an odd case.”

“Oh … That seems …”

“Listen, you were a lock for making it to the good life but then you had those last words.”

“My last words? Shoot … What did I say … I’m trying to remember.”

“You said, while obviously dying, to a strange man near you, ‘tell my wife, Danny Glover.'”

“Hahaha ohhhh yeahhh. I remember that.”

“Why did you say that!? We know it’s not an inside joke with you and your wife. We saw how confused your wife was when she heard your last words.”

“Oh yeah. Hmmm. I guess I didn’t think about her being confused.”

“Why would you be so cruel!?”

“Not cruel! I was trying to be funny.”


“Ok, so … All right. I was aware I was about to die, right? And I thought, I should pass on a last message for this dude. I was thinking I could say tell my wife I love her and it clicked how Danny Glover’s last name sounds so much like ‘love her’ so wouldn’t it be funny to say tell my wife, Danny Glover? Get it? Like, it’s funny?”


“I’m realizing now it wasn’t as funny as it seemed at the time.”

“Now you see our dilemma over letting you in or not.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.”


Comments on: "Last Words" (1)

  1. If I’m at pearly gates when I die, I clearly did not live my life right.

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