The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Christopher Walken at a Kohl’s 50% Men’s Slacks Sale

Friend: Chris, come on man, they’re gonna be outta pants by the time we get there!
Christopher: Hey! It’s Christopher Walken, not Christopher Runnin.

 

Christopher Walken at a Children’s Dance-A-Thon for Charity

Child: Mr. Walken, will you dance with me?
Christopher: It’s Christopher Walken, but … yes, I will.

 

Christopher Walken reading a blog post

Blogger: Hey check it out, it’s pretty funny, or at least … mildly funny?
Christopher: Listen, it’s Christopher Walken, not Christopher laughin at a post that is … frankly, a little uninspired. I mean, come on, the same joke over and over but varied slightly? What is this, an overly long SNL skit?
Blogger: Well … what if the blog has been around like, a REALLY LONG TIME, and sometimes the blogger just wants to mail it in for a post or 100 posts or so?
Chistopher: You think I should lower my humor standards for this?
Blogger: If you wouldn’t mind, that’d help me out tremendously.
Christopher: Ok. Then … hm. There. You got one amused hm.

 

Christopher Walken outside a bunch of town homes, with 7 dogs on leashes with him

Person: Woah! Christopher Walken! What are you doing here?
Christopher: Dogs! They’re … great. I LOVE dogs. And people … have to work, but the dogs … sit at HOME. So lonely. Long days are tough for … dogs.
Person: You have a dog sitting business?
Christopher: No! Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. I have a dog … Walken … business.
Christopher Walken puts on a pair of woman’s sunglasses and walks away

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