At DumbFunnery, we take journalistic integrity as the value of highest importance. So when news breaks – we’ll be there with duct tape!
(No. No, that’s not what that phrase means.)
Ah! DumbFunnery, a bastion of ethics and go-get-em-ics, is ready to hide a lock pick and a shiv in a home-baked cake to help BREAK OUT that news!
(What on Earth? That’s worse. Definitely not that. Just give me a sec and I’ll explain …)
DumbFunnery, armed with a pen, a love of the truth, and a cardboard box, is around for breaking news. Lay down a beat, do the cabbage patch, and let’s breakdance the news.
(…I don’t understand. How are you so unaware of what breaking news means?)
DumbFunnery never takes their foot off the gas, charging hard and fast until – SCREEEEEEEEE – it’s time to brake … for news?
(That’s somehow the most wrong, and the closest?)
DumbFunnery, grabbing the blanket of journalism and a cup of hot tea of hard-hitting questions, is here to help you get back to feeling ready to take on the world. Because sure, news broke up with you, but hang in there tiger, it’s just a bit of breaking news.
(Fine. Let’s go with that.)
When news breaks (up) … DumbFunnery is here to watch Love Actually, maybe call your ex and make funny noises until your ex hangs up, and perhaps even … win a Pulitzer?
DumbFunnery 
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