The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (12/5/18)

Front

Ellen377b

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen377a

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Do you think in ancient times (whatever that means) there was some village elder who would go out on hunts and point to different animals and say either “delicious” or “belch?” Because really, who looks at big hairy animals and thinks “YUM!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen (11/28/18)

Front

 

Ellen376a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen376b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I recently went to my first sporting event at Denver University. I don’t know if they have an honors college, but if they don’t they’re missing a real t-shirt selling opportunity. I mean, like, really. D.U.H.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (11/14/18)

Front

Ellen374a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen374b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Imagine if all the dead presidents came back to see the world we’re in now. They’d probably all be like, ‘brains’ and ‘feed me’ and making creepy guttural noises and stuff.

Really makes you think.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (11/7/18)

Front

Ellen372a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen372b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This is one of the more controversial Star Wars comics because the whole Luke Skywalker plot is him dealing with constipation.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

P.S. Not a great read.

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (10/31/18)

Front

Ellen373a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen373b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

The Monster Mash.

A ‘graveyard smash’ … What does that even mean!?

Also, Happy Halloween!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (10/24/18)

Front

 

Ellen371a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen371b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

With elections right around the corner here is my current political stance.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (10/17/18)

Front

Ellen370a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen370b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I decided my dog is like a crazy scientist who has come up from her lab and is yelling about some potentially world-ending catastrophe and we’re like, “nah crazy scientist, that’s just the neighbor – you JUST saw him” and she’s like “RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

It’s charming.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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