The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (4/17/19)

Front

Ellen395a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen395b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

At my son’s daycare they send ‘incident reports’ if he gets banged up. The most recent one was, “[your son] was sitting on a friend, and the friend scratched his face.” The led me to conclude I wouldn’t last a day at daycare.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen (4/10/19)

Front

 

Ellen394a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen394b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Do you think, in the history of Welch’s, anyone has even been fired for saying ‘hey! That’s really grape news!’

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (4/3/19)

Front

 

Ellen393a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen393b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I decided when retire I’m going to move to Tibet and build a wall. (Psst. My hope is it’ll be so nice and wall-like people will call it the Even Better Wall of Tibet.)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (3/27/19)

Front

 

Ellen392a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen392b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If werewolves were real I’d create a group called ‘wherewolves’ and whenever I heard someone say ‘werewolves’ I’d jump in and say ‘wherewolves’ and point to my heart.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (3/20/19)

Front

 

Ellen391a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen391b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Maybe this is a little dark for a postcard but … Do you think the Catholic Church will ever have a Patron Saint of Not Molesting Children? Because it’d be great if that guy showed up.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (3/13/19)

Front

 

Ellen390a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen390b

Cheerios is having this contest where you tell Ellen something good you’ve done and then you might get tickets to her show. But I had more pressing questions. The text of the postcard is

So Ellen, you like postcards? Cool. Cool. Me too. Umm … ok. Well, see ya!

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (3/6/19)

Front

Ellen389a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen389b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

General Grant National Park is the drink ingest National Park.

[] True
[] False

Please respond.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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