The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (2/15/17)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

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The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

A month ago I learned Wien means Vienna in German. And yet, it wasn’t until I was ordering Wiener Schnitzel that it all clicked … Wiener means Viennese! Knowledge, huh? Now if I could just visit every city in the world I might be intelligent. Please sponsor my intelligence? I’ll send postcards!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (2/8/17)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen295b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This bridge features LOADS of tourists, locals selling stuff, locals begging for money, and locals exhibiting a talent for money. My favorite of these was a woman lip synching with a bored, lifeless look and as little effort as possible to match the song. She was like an art piece at a contemporary art museum that wouldn’t belittle itself by making sense to a mere commoner.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (2/1/17)

Front

ellen294a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen294b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My wife and I saw an opera here and I heard a person sing so beautifully it was practically a religious experience. No joke here – I honestly didn’t know singing could be that amazing.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?