Newly Remastered Movies From Parmamount Pictures!
Parmamount Pictures has recently seized on an opportunity – rampant sex predators in Hollywood.
That’s right, this is an opportunity.
Check out that barrel at Wal-Mart, is that Cosby’s classic Ghost Dad sitting covered in dust? What about that stack of Unusual Suspects, starring Kevin Spacey? And all those Woody Allen movies that are untouched … wait, no. People still like him? You guys know he … ah,nevermind.
Parmamount Pictures has taken the bold and money-grubbing chance to pair with some of your, the average American, FAVORITE restaurants!
Don’t like sleazeballs, but love Arby’s?
Checkout our new version of Pay It Forward where Kevin Spacey’s face is replaced by an Arby’s bag! That’s right! Not only will this film no longer offend anyone, but it will also make you crave that sweet, sweet roast “beef.” Now that’s what I call tasty film watching!
Isn’t that Louis CK a riot? But wait, seeing him makes you angry, and hearing his voice doing THOSE kinds of routines (I mean, come on) makes you want to punch through a wall? Fear not! Because all of his comedy specials will be re-released with his image and voice replaced by … you guessed it! … Ronald McDonald!
(Honestly I have nightmares after watching a screening of this. But folks tell me it will sell, and profit is king.)
This winter cuddle up with a delicious bag of food that’s gotten cold on the drive home, and a favorite movie with no one* offensive in it!
*Parmamount Pictures is working on some predictive software to go ahead and replace approximately 68% of male stars in Hollywood.