There’s an oldies station that I like to listen to. It’s fun, it’s full of catchy songs, it’s a simpler time and … wait. Ew. What were those lyrics?
Hey, little girl in the high school sweater Gee, but I’d like to know you better
Just a-swingin’ your books and chewin’ gum
Lookin’ just like a juicy plum
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, little girl
Kinda … blech, right? I heard this song and kept visualizing an older man having written it, and then a younger man having sung it. But, thankfully, the internet has pointed me to it being written by someone who was 18 at the time (Johnny Chester) and the singer was 21 at the time (Dee Clark).
Still a little pervy. But that’s quite a bit of classic oldies.
Let’s dive into the oldies song, The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss). This is a song where the main singer could, understandably, get pretty frustrated.
Why? Because she is apparently talking to a bunch of duimmies who don’t know how to listen.
Let’s take a look.
The song starts off simply enough, the lead singer is telling us about a fella, her friends ask a few questions, and then she quickly reveals the secret to seeing where you stand.
Does he love me I want to know How can I tell if he loves me so Is it in his eyes? Oh no! You’ll be deceived Is it in his sighs? Oh no! He’ll make believe If you want to know if he loves you so It’s in his kiss That’s where it is Oh yeah
Great. Secret revealed. Let’s move on. Right? Wrong. Because these dumb dumbs weren’t paying the SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION.
Or is it in his face? Oh no! That’s just his charms In his warm embrace? Oh no! That’s just his arms
I mean … come on, guys. Pay attention. And you can tell she’s getting a little short with them explaining that a hug is done with arms. Boom. Take that zinger.
The singer then goes on to once again explain that it’s in his kiss. She really spends some time on it.
And guess what happens as soon as she’s done explaining again? Yep.
How about the way he acts Oh no! That’s not the way And you’re not listenin’ to all I say
At this point the lead singer is really calling them out. But they respond with an equally sharp rebuttal by ASKING THE SAME QUESTION!
How about the way he acts
… At this point the lead singer essentially loses her poop (that’s the PG version!) and goes nuts, singing it’s in his kiss over and over and over A LOT. See, check it out.
It’s in his kiss That’s where it is Oh whoa it’s in his kiss That’s where it is Oh yeah it’s in his kiss That’s where it is Ooh it’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is It’s in his kiss That’s where it is
That’s the insane singings of a crazy person. And she was driven crazy by her listening-challenged friends.
Next time you enjoy this great oldies hit, remember that you are listening to someone’s mental state collapse before your very ears.
DumbFunnery 