The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘crazy’

It’s in His Kiss

Let’s dive into the oldies song, The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss). This is a song where the main singer could, understandably, get pretty frustrated.

Why? Because she is apparently talking to a bunch of duimmies who don’t know how to listen.

Let’s take a look.

The song starts off simply enough, the lead singer is telling us about a fella, her friends ask a few questions, and then she quickly reveals the secret to seeing where you stand.

Does he love me
I want to know

How can I tell if he loves me so

Is it in his eyes?

Oh no! You’ll be deceived

Is it in his sighs?

Oh no! He’ll make believe

If you want to know if he loves you so

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is
Oh yeah



Great. Secret revealed. Let’s move on. Right? Wrong. Because these dumb dumbs weren’t paying the SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION.

Or is it in his face?

Oh no! That’s just his charms

In his warm embrace?

Oh no! That’s just his arms



I mean … come on, guys. Pay attention. And you can tell she’s getting a little short with them explaining that a hug is done with arms. Boom. Take that zinger.

The singer then goes on to once again explain that it’s in his kiss. She really spends some time on it.

And guess what happens as soon as she’s done explaining again? Yep.

How about the way he acts

Oh no! That’s not the way

And you’re not listenin’ to all I say

At this point the lead singer is really calling them out. But they respond with an equally sharp rebuttal by ASKING THE SAME QUESTION!

How about the way he acts

… At this point the lead singer essentially loses her poop (that’s the PG version!) and goes nuts, singing it’s in his kiss over and over and over A LOT. See, check it out.

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is
Oh whoa it’s in his kiss

That’s where it is
Oh yeah it’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

Ooh it’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

It’s in his kiss

That’s where it is

That’s the insane singings of a crazy person. And she was driven crazy by her listening-challenged friends.

Next time you enjoy this great oldies hit, remember that you are listening to someone’s mental state collapse before your very ears.

Enjoy!

Bizarre Job Posting

This article inspired this post … I’ll summarize it: some Russians simulated a trip to Mars, locking up this crew for FIVE HUNDRED and TWENTY DAYS! Painful, right?

Here’s how I’d expect the job posting to go.

***

Attention, heroes of tomorrow! Say, what are you up to the next 520 days? Do you have free time? Do you like small spaces? Do you feel like the government is watching you, and frankly, the idea isn’t that troublesome?

Then we have a job for YOU!

***

Short, and to the point, unlike that job. Yowzers. 520 days. I don’t think the bat exists that can poop out the crazy that I would become.

Attn: Ellen (10/24/12)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres cats

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard cats

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I have this new tactic for dating which is pretty bold, but I think it’s a good way to quickly determine who is crazy.

I do something really weird, like bring a postcard like this and say, “I saw this and thought of you … maybe … us?” And then if the girl wants to leave right away or cut the date short I know she’s a keeper.

I’m still working out the kinks, but I’m optimistic.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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