The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘zombie shuffle’

My Zombie Roomy (4/15/11)

Last year I went to this work conference thing and during this one ‘session’ a girl talked about what she calls ‘the zombie shuffle.’ This is often seen by senior engineers, or engineers of any kind I guess. It’s because us engineer-types tend to not be as social, and sometimes we walk while thinking so we just sort of stare and don’t pay attention to people around us.

Anyway, the girl’s name for this – ‘the zombie shuffle’ – was, let’s call it: ‘corporate cute.’

I remembered this yesterday at work (after I realized I was doing this, and walked by a guy doing the same thing). I came home and told the Zombie about it. I ended by saying, “so we’re regarded as intelligent and brainless!” He didn’t seem to have any reaction. I was honestly curious if he’d be upset, or touched, or who knows what. He can be very hard to read.

BUT!

Then I woke up and he had taken one of my big, old TI calculators and SHOVED IT INSIDE HIS ARM!

I know he’s the undead so it didn’t hurt him, and it looks kinda neat in a weird-zombie sort of way. It’s just odd to see a calculator stuck halfway inside someone’s arm.

The problem remains: does that mean he was insulted, or touched? Like is this a warning sign for nerds to keep at bay, or a welcome sign?

Honestly, what does this mean?

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My Zombie Roomy

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The Internet is Full of Awesome: @SuperEnna

The internet is great. It’s sometimes frustrating for me, as someone who hopes to get published, to find a fantastic website because, frankly, things would be much easier if that wasn’t the case. But, while frustrating, I’m happy that there are great things online – and one of these is @SuperEnna. Or, try THIS! Enna’s got about 500 websites, so I decided to reference her Twitter AND one of her sites.

The Internet is Full of Awesome: @SuperEnna

1) If you could bring any ONE item back from any movie – what would the item be and from what movie?*

Holy crap in a hat this is a great question. Do I go for the time traveling Delorean from Back to the Future? Or go Biblical and get the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders of the Lost Ark? Or do I go perverted and get myself a chained-up hooker from Black Snake Moan? So many choices.

But I have to go with Rosie the Robot from the Jetson’s movie, because I am a lazy bitch and having a robot that cooks and cleans for me is better than 100 chained-up hookers.

2) What is your proudest blog-related moment? (i.e. compliment from a friend of friend, your blog mentioned somewhere else?)

I was being interviewed via Skype about my book (that is based off of my blog – you can buy it here www.tinyurl.com/sggrl OH DONT YOU LOVE THAT SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION!) and the interviewer asked how did it feel to be #8 on the most downloaded books for Kindle.

I had no idea I was even ON THAT LIST, let alone in the top ten. I told the reporter to please hold on a minute, muted the microphone, and ran around my living room screaming.

I did NOT, however, turn off my webcam, nor put on pants before I did this, so the reporter got to see a chubby white woman completely FREAK OUT in old, ill-fitting underwear. All before 9 a.m. That lucky bastard.

But, if you want my proudest blog moment of all time – it’s when a girl named Rachel made a Facebook fan group for my site. I sat at my desk at work and cried for a full twenty minutes. I am pretty sure that if anyone ever makes a wikipedia page for me, I will faint immediately and then spend the next week crying from being so happy/thankful.

3) Which would you rather fight – a zombie, a werewolf, or a vampire. (I think a zombie would be the easiest, so I’ll add in that the zombie has a knife, the werewolf has a stomach ache, and the vampire was just broken up with.)

Ok seriously a zombie is my worst fear, knife or no knife. The quickest way to get me to pee my pants is to do the “zombie shuffle” towards me and do that low moan. I will choose vampire because, due to Twilight, this seems like it would be the easiest to handle.

4) Why do you blog?

Since I have different blogs, I will answer for each individually:

Kosherporkchops.com: I honestly don’t know the answer to this. I guess because I have a story to tell, and in real life people find me hilarious. Not “stand-up-comedy” hilarious, but more “you-wouldn’t-mind-being-stuck-with-me-in-a-DMV” hilarious. I think I am just a well-rounded idiot. And truthfully, blogging/writing is the only thing I have ever been good at. Blogging and my romantic life are the only two things I can point at and say “Yep, I got that shit on lock.”

ForThomas.Tumblr.com: I started this blog as a Christmas gift for my cousin because I didn’t have any money to buy him a tangible gift. I said I would update it at least once a day with something he would probably find interesting. I update it on average twice a day. It was going to end on Christmas day this year, but I asked him if he wanted a “real” gift this year, or another year of blogging, and he chose blogging.

[Editor’s note: Her cousin Thomas is also mentioned in this completely crazy and awesome story.]

LettersToIraGlass.Tumblr.com: This is what I am most famous for, and I rarely update this anymore. I am deciding what to do with this site – I could just turn it into one viral NPR pledge drive, or turn it into a parody of itself. I have no clue. But This American Life picked up the blog and covered it, and suddenly overnight I was web-famous. I started this blog because I was having trouble dealing with life, and I needed an outlet. I based it off of LettersToTheEndConsumer.blogspot.com.

I used to have a LiveJournal and an OpenDiary, but that was more about my day-to-day life and I didn’t even want to read that shit. Ugh.

5) If time is moving forward, but everyone keeps looking back, does that mean the future is really just the past? (Tim Hendrik’s question from this interview).

I don’t know if this question has to do with time travel, but if it does – remember the most important rule of time travel: ALWAYS KILL HITLER.

[Editor’s Note: I don’t know Enna, but I could see her attacking a Hitler cat, or Kitler, while time-traveling.]

6) Please provide a question for the next blogger interviewed.

You started your own religion and you’re the new god – what are the four tenants your followers need to adhere to?

*My work buddy L came up with these awesome questions. Though he doesn’t know this blog exists.

Big thanks to @SuperEnna, author of http://kosherporkchops.com/ for answering the questions – be sure to check out one of her 4000 creative pursuits.

And look for another interview next (month? I don’t know) with TBD!

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