The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘roomy’

My Zombie Roomy (4/15/11)

Last year I went to this work conference thing and during this one ‘session’ a girl talked about what she calls ‘the zombie shuffle.’ This is often seen by senior engineers, or engineers of any kind I guess. It’s because us engineer-types tend to not be as social, and sometimes we walk while thinking so we just sort of stare and don’t pay attention to people around us.

Anyway, the girl’s name for this – ‘the zombie shuffle’ – was, let’s call it: ‘corporate cute.’

I remembered this yesterday at work (after I realized I was doing this, and walked by a guy doing the same thing). I came home and told the Zombie about it. I ended by saying, “so we’re regarded as intelligent and brainless!” He didn’t seem to have any reaction. I was honestly curious if he’d be upset, or touched, or who knows what. He can be very hard to read.

BUT!

Then I woke up and he had taken one of my big, old TI calculators and SHOVED IT INSIDE HIS ARM!

I know he’s the undead so it didn’t hurt him, and it looks kinda neat in a weird-zombie sort of way. It’s just odd to see a calculator stuck halfway inside someone’s arm.

The problem remains: does that mean he was insulted, or touched? Like is this a warning sign for nerds to keep at bay, or a welcome sign?

Honestly, what does this mean?

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My Zombie Roomy (2/22/11)

Ruh roh.

Last night I was on facebook, and the Zombie was chilling on the couch next to me. I saw that a friend of mine had checked in somewhere using the application FourSquare, so I said, “oh Miss Amy’s at [bar name], that’s cool.”

The Zombie looked up from the stuffed animal he was chewing on (I started buying him chew toys because the door handle to my bathroom was getting disgusting – he’d just gnaw on it randomly), and he said “brains?”

I had a minor dilemma – I of course didn’t want my friend Amy to be in any danger of being eaten by the Zombie, but I was curious if he actually knew where this bar was. I let him look at the screen, and he looked up at me, seemed to smirk, and said “brains” very confidently. Then he stood up and headed for the door.

I sat on my couch shocked. ‘Oh my God!’ I thought to myself, ‘I think I just killed Amy!’

But right when the Zombie opened the door he started coughing, and coughed up a bunch of stuffing that was in the stuffed animal. I yell at him not to eat the stuffing but he does it anyway. It really upsets me.

Oh yeah and I haven’t seen an update in Amy for a while. That’s also troublesome.

My Zombie Roomy (8/5/10)

Ok things got crazy last night and the Zombie confronted me and he seemed so crazed and … man I was scared. So I did what I do best. I rambled endlessly and eventually we hit a common ground.

The Zombie and I are going to launch some new, extremely niche market emoticons!!

Here are our ideas so far:

hamster with a gas problem
turtle who can’t believe he was just diagnosed with gonorrhea
old man who CAN believe it’s not butter
apron with an attitude
poofy jacket worn by Alicia Keys, but with Barbra Streisand’s face
toothbrush with an attitude
paint shaker with an attitude
(we really loved the ‘with an attitude’ thing)
meatball sandwich that just got a love letter
a tiger shark who is totally baiting the hook to try and get a compliment

 

My Zombie Roomy (7/7/2010)

I saw on TNT or TBS or one of those that there was a Bruce Lee movie marathon on, so the zombie and I were pretty jazzed about that.

And, such good luck, we turn to the channel and it’s right at the start of Enter the Dragon! I’d say the start is one of the best parts, but all of the parts of that movie are one of the best parts.

Anyway. As we were watching the movie we began to realize – Bruce Lee movies are like hour and a half long reminders of what bad shape we’re in.

Who can climb down a rope with their body at a right angle?! What the hell Bruce Lee!

Oh dude the one with the huge basketball player’s on now.

My Zombie Roomy (4/10/10)

4/10/10
Did you know zombies can giggle? I sure didn’t.

When I came back from running some errands, the Zombie was watching ‘Searching for Bobby Fisher’ and giggling! It was amazing.

I’d seen the movie before, and it didn’t do much for me. Chess. Board. Genius. Eh. I’ll admit that when I was about twenty minutes into the movie the idea of becoming really good at chess occurred to me – but then about ten minutes later I was wishing I wasn’t watching the movie.

It’s really interesting to me what he was giggling about! I asked him and he gave me this sly look and sort of bit his lip (if he had done that like a month ago, during my ‘is the Zombie gay?’ phase, I would’ve totally freaked out).

If you can think of anything – please let me know.

My Zombie Roomy (4/6/10)

4/6/10

I don’t know what part of the brain it is that does this – but I really enjoy combining two words together. Like celebrity names. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes equals TomKat. That sort of thing.

It’s very idiotic, but it’s very pleasing when you get a good combination out of it. If I had to guess, I would bet the same part of my brain that enjoys this is also the part of my brain that enjoys sock puppets and jokes about ham sandwiches (‘why didn’t the guy eat the ham sandwich? Because the sandwich was complimenting him!’ … get it? Like the sandwich is a ham? Would you believe I just thought of that?)

Anyway I wanted to think of a combination for the Zombie and I. That’s when I realized I don’t even have a nickname for him! Just something to call him besides the Zombie. For a while I thought maybe I’d call him ‘Zomb’, or ‘the great Zombino.’

I’ll admit to saying something he did, “was the Zomb!”

The Zombie and I both wish I hadn’t said that.

Anyway, other possible names have been: “the Zoombmate,” “all I wanna do is go-uh zoom, zoom, zoom, with the Zomb, Zomb, Zomb,” (too long a name, otherwise perfect), “Ombie,” (too emasculating), “Z”, “el Z,” (that was a hit for about a week after he and I watched Zorro), “Butt Face,” (he and I were playing co-op on this one video game and … well, he sucks).

I’ll keep thinking on this name thing. Something good is bound to come to me.

Work has been pretty crazy lately so I haven’t had as much time to hang out. What’s weird is this: I think I may actually miss this brain-dead freak. (Don’t tell him I said that though.)

My Zombie Roomy (3/30/10)

3/30/10
The zombie is craaaaazy for Natasha Bedingfield. How funny is that? Don’t get me wrong, I really like singing along with that “I love you I love you I love youuuu” song, but still, that was surprising to see the Zombie looking up Natasha Bedingfield on Google images.

(I’m a guy’s guy but … come on, that’s adorable.)

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