The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

My Degree from Sewanee

I got my degree
From Sewanee
You see
I’m a doctor of divinity

My sermons are bigger than life
Rife
With strife
And with a conclusion that encourages sacrifice

Like sugar on your ear buds
I’m a hot knife and my conversations’ spuds
With my words in tow you go from duds
To studs

My devotional
Is emotional
And quotable
And never dull

Yes, me and my degree
From Sewanee
Practice divinity
Of which I’m a doctor, you see

I know the Bible
And I’m more than liable
To save your soul
If my words you let fill you full

If I’m wrong
And it turns out I strung you along
Pick up your harmonica and sing your song
Because if you’re wrong when it comes to this, wrong is really wrong

What if there is a God
And wouldn’t this be odd
When people say his name in vain, God is quick to applaud
So the people we think flawed, would actually be awed

But me and my degree
From Sewanee
Will still be as divine as can be
Because there’s no malpractice suits for a doctor of divinity

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